A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so I started dating this guy about 2 weeks ago. But he's not just any guy .. he has been one of my closest friends for like 8 years... I've known the guy since we were in junior high and we've actually tried dating in the past but it has never really worked out mostly because I get all weird about it since I've always been so afraid to ruin the friendship. But this time I thought: "We're older and probably wiser so it might as well work this time" .... the thing is that ... this time I'm giving my best and he just doesn't seem so interested like the previous times we dated.... So now I don't know if it is because the last 2 times we gave it a shot I chickened out and blow it and he's under the impression I'll do it again or maybe he wants to get back at me for the last 2 times or maybe he's just not that in to me anymore? I've tried and talk about it with him and he keeps saying that he does want to be with me that he cares so much for me and he loves being with me and misses me when we're not together and everything... but he lacks interest ... he rarely texts and almost never calls me .... we barely talk over facebook and when we meet is usually because we have another friend in common that pretty much hangs out with us all the time so either I go out with this friend and he joins us later or viceversa...is it wrong to want more? is this normal considering the circumstances? should I break up with him ? And BTW he goes to college in another city so he's leaving in about a week ... and he comes back here only like once or twice a month ...we talked about it and we agreed that we would try and make it work... so call me crazy but if you are dating someone and you're in the beggining of a relationship aren't you supposed to want to spend a lot of time with that person?? specially when you know you're leaving soon and might not comeback for a while...
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 January 2012):
 I think it is normal to want more, definitely. Just because you've been friends for years and have dated a few times before doesn't mean you should skip the dating part and skip falling in love. You want more. Tell him that. But be prepared for him not wanting to give it more. Then again, if this hasn't been going on for too long, if you and him have just been dating a few times now, give him time and show him that this time around you're going to stick to him like glue. Don' get possessive, but just stick to it for a while, and see what happens. However if this is how it's been for months and months already, maybe 3-5 months, then I might think about just letting him go as he obviously can't be bothered. Words are words, they don't mean much unless they are followed up by action.
A
female
reader, bearN  +, writes (2 January 2012):
 The best advice would be to settle the matter amicably.Now, He has been your friend for 8 years. I am sure you can talk to him about you're feeling insecure about the relationship. Ask him how could both of you manage to spend some amount of time even though he will be leaving for some other city. I am sure if he is really into you. He will talk about the situation and try to solve things out meticulously. And there is nothing crazy about it. If you really like him and wanting to proceed for a relationship.Just make him know that now you're truly and sincerely interested in having him as you're bf. And you will not be fickle minded as you were before. He needs to know that for sure. Otherwise Maybe he has got the past in his mind which is preventing him to be more closer to you. Hope it helps!!!
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