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female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend i have been dating for almost four weeks, he is saying im the love of his life and he is thinking about proposing to me in a couple days. I dont know what to say or do because i know he is "friends" with one of my friends who is a female. He has been talking to her the past couple of days and hardly talking to me. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): There are very much time rules on love, especially at your age.
The reason being, is that young people/teenagers fall-in and out of love on a regular basis - it's part of growing up, and what feels very much like love, is the initial stages of 'attraction' and cannot be seen as barometer or indication this is love for the rest of your life.
You are way too young to be considering anything like a proposal. Before you can ever accept a proposal of marriage you have to grow up first yourself, become independent, experience life so you know more about YOU and certainly about the man you will eventually say yes to.
For any proposal, it's wisest to have been dating for at least 12-18 months first, to had had lots of dates, and ups and downs, to get to know your partner, their habits, values on life, whether they are honest, treat you well, keep their word to you, meaning actions and words match, they are faithful to you, none of this can be foreseen in just four weeks.
Being in love at any age is wonderful, and never more so when it's a first time, and if that is what is for you, just enjoy it, but keep the promises until much later on.
Like most females around this age, you will probably be more emotionally mature than this boy, so if he does bring it up again, just tell him, you like him a lot, and you're happy to date, but you're not ready to be making any promises yet.
And besides I note you mention another girl in the picture already, so just see how things go over the next few weeks.
Take care,
Jilly x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): There are no time rules on love... it is often smarter to wait a bit... see for sure that you two are compatible and will be able to live together harmoniously for the rest of your lives... but he could very assuredly Have fallen in real love with you in that that relatively quick while.
But you Are very, very, Very young yet.
Best to wait,
Tante Victoire
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Okay, first of all. How old are you? 14,15 years old? You are wayyy too young to be getting married. You have got SO much life ahead of you. You're not even done growing up! Marriage should not even be on the PERIMETER of your mind!
Second of all. You and your boyfriend have only been dating for four meager weeks and he is thinking of proposing to you?? How many days is four weeks. Right, a month. So, 30 or so days. 30 days is NOT enough time to know someone enough to feel that you love them. There may be infatuation, of course, but love? No way. I don't care what people say. You cannot deeply love someone after only a month of being with that person. A year should be the bare minimum, ESPECIALLY when you two are as young as you are.
Third, if he is talking to another girl a lot, he is obviously not committed to you. You could NEVER marry someone who is not committed to you. However, at your age, this should not even matter. People are still maturing and figuring out who they are. It's very difficult to stick with only one person all of the time.
You really need to talk this over with him or something. If you got married after only four weeks of dating and being as young as you are, it would not last. Trust me. You're simply too young and do not know each other nearly as well as you may currently think.
I hope everything works out and good luck!
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