A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure exactly where this feeling is coming from, I shouldn't feel guilty after what he did but I do every time. So I just need advice on why this may be...I was dating this guy for 5 months, it ended over 2 months ago and still the feeling of guilt when I talk to another guy or kiss someone else lingers there. It took me quite a while to want to get involved with another guy again and honestly, still even now I don't want to because i'm not prepared to go through that again just yet. I still have feelings for him, so I know getting involved with someone else wouldn't be the best idea until those feelings have fully gone.But i've noticed I can't even let myself meet another guy, because even just flirting with another guy, or exchanging numbers, or even when I feel myself getting closer to someone else I feel bad as if i'm doing something wrong. It's far worse when I kiss someone because then I feel much more terrible and so guilty, like i'm an awful person for doing that to him?The thing is we aren't together anymore! It wasn't a nice break up, he ended it in a nightclub when my friends were there, showed no compassion, no decency or an ounce of respect for me. He made me feel like I meant nothing to him and that it was so easy to drop me. And now he ignores me like he couldn't give fuck about me. So I shouldn't be feeling guilty at all and everyone tells me i'm doing nothing wrong, we aren't together anymore and he was horrible for what he did, so i shouldn't feel bad about it. But i know they're right and i've tried, yet I still feel so guilty every time! Why is this, what am I feeling guilty or bad about and why?!
View related questions:
confidence, flirt, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2014): It sounds very much like you still have feelings for him. Sit down in a quiet moment or two and remind yourself of how he hurt you. Imagine all those hurtful behaviours and how it made you feel all rolled up into a big grey ball and let the ball go. Throw it far away. And imagine a cord connecting you to the ex and cut it. Do this every day .. it will really help you.
And enjoy meeting new guys. Eventually you will lose any sense of attachment to this creep.
|
