A
female
age
30-35,
*ousepad
writes:My boyfriend and I are both 19. We are freshman in college, and we have been together for about 3 years. We have known that we wanted to marry each other since before we were even together. We spent a year as friends before we were anything more, we just took our time trying to really get to know each other. We didn't decide to become anything more than friends until we knew that we could marry each other. I know we're young, but we are honestly VERY different (and always have been) from everyone else our age. Neither one of us has EVER cared about looks, we have both been searching for someone to marry since about the fourth grade, haha, seriously. We really are great together, we talk about anything and everything, and we have complete trust in each other. We are each others' best friend by a long shot. We just love each other so much and I know we're young and we will change, but honestly we won't change in any major ways. I see what people mean, of course, about how "you're SO much different when you're in your late twenties than as a teenager" because almost all of my friends will be WAY different. But we really already know what's important in life, and I know we can work.We want to get married, but we are young. It's actually really frustrating for me because both my my sets of grandparents got married at 17, my aunt at 18, and they're ALL been married for over 50 years and are quite literally the best couples I've ever seen. I could get married today and still be older than they were! And yet they would all probably discourage the idea of us getting married. I want people to approve of my wedding, and I don't want everyone talking about how we won't last. I don't care what people think, but I mean I still want people to be happy for us if that makes sense?It's not like we won't finish school if we get married. We are both determined, (especially me) and we will both have great jobs. I already know what I want to do. Most people will tell me to wait until I graduate college, but I will be going to 3-4 years of graduate school so I just don't want to wait that long! Basically, I WILL get married while I'm in school, so what difference does it make?I used to keep a journal, and I was reading it last night. I came across a few entries that I wrote more than a year and a half ago about how much we want to get married, and basically just saying this same stuff. I would think that's a pretty good sign that my feelings haven't changed in all that time?Still, the thought of ACTUALLY getting married is a little scary, and I don't think we're ready RIGHT NOW. But sometime in the pretty near future would be nice.We both have very strong values for not having sex before marriage. We are saving actual intercourse for marriage, and so naturally that might be pushing us a little, but honestly not that much. What's really making us want to get married is the actual being married part.. living together and sharing a home together. I honestly think it would make us more focused on school, because we would be more likely to study while we are together. (Now, we want to hang out all the time, but we don't usually study because it's kinda rude to do your own thing if you're at the other's place. But if we lived together, we could have more time to do our own thing, I honestly think. We would do more homework as well I'm sure.) Neither one of us care about having some big elaborate wedding, we just want to BE married. That's not to say we don't want to have a nice wedding, but you know. We've just been having such strong desires to live together lately, but I just don't believe in living together before marriage.This is partly a rant and partly looking for advice/comments. I just wish it wasn't so taboo to get married so young.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): I am almost as young as young but a little farther through my college career than you and plan on getting married as well. I understand what you are going through and truthfully your family will understand as long as you do stick with your plans to finish school and persue everything you wanted to before. You do want a wedding though that is what you have always wanted because your never going to get the chance to do it again. It is once in a life time opportunity. You should experience it, not just get marrried because ya'll want to do that so bad. I understand your love is so strong and it is there for the right reasons but at least do everything before the actual "married" to the fulliest! You will appreciate that 30 years from now. haha. Good Luck with everything and your relationship it will all work out for the best and the right reasons.
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reader, stephanie1994  +, writes (3 February 2009):
hi , you obviously feel very strongly about getting married and by the sounds of it you love each other very much. Your grandparents and Auntie shouldnt say anything about being too young because as you said, they got married younger than you now. I think you should just ignore the people who are saying it wont last because you will prove them wrong. You are obviously are committed to getting married and making it work because you are saving sex until married. Just ignore them! Good Luck!
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