A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm in a bit of a predicament that I guess many males don't end up in. My girlfriend wants to have sex. We've known each other for over a year, so we're not just hooking up. However, we haven't done anything else involving sexual activity of any sort...She just wants to go straight to having sex. She is a virgin and so am I. However, I really feel that to do it this soon would be to rush things. She says she respects that and she'll wait but I feel like I'm letting her down by not doing it. What should I do? I want to work my way up to it, not just do it! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2007): I say wait till your good and ready when i was 19, I ended up in a similar situation. I was going out with this girl for about a year she wanted to have sex and i didn't we stayed together for another couple of years but in the end i decided to break it off with her as i realised i didn't want her to be my first and needed to find someone who was
So the questions you need to ask yourself are
Do i see this girl as my first? if no then Who do you see as your first? I waited till i was 23 before i found someone right. If you need to do the same as me goodluck my friend, if not i am sure she will wait for when your ready. Hope this helps - Mike9
A
male
reader, sealmire +, writes (10 November 2007):
 hey man i really really respect the way you feel about this. i kinda wish i was in your position cuz i lost my virginity when i was 13. its somethin im not proud of at all. the girl wasent very special to me and i was kinda pressured into it by my "friends". dont let her or any female out there pressure you into sex or anything of the sort. i respect you a lot man a lot. and i have to agree with the others. WAIT UNTIL YOU AND HER ARE GOOD AND READY! you have my prayers. good luck man.
Sealmire
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 If you are not ready to have sexual intercourse yet then don't do it untill you are good and ready. She said she respects you decision and will wait for you which is a good thing, at least she is not pushing you to do it. You are in this relationship together 50/50, so dont think you are letting her down because you are not. Losing your virginity is not something to be rushed, take you time and do it when you are both good and ready, and make your first time a really special moment.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, Aredas  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 I would say just do what you feel is best. Don't rush your relationship. If you dont feel ready, then just tell her, and she should respect that. Good luck :)
Aredas
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): Ok i'm no professional, but i am a girl so maybe i cud help!
I have been in the same situation, and have come out a virgin....
My best advice to you is to tell the girl that as much as you love her, you want the moment to be very special and if she respects you, she will agree and wait until you're ready, if not it's hard but obviously she doesn't respect you as much as you think...I hope I helped....
Good luck hun!
xox
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): you are right, not a common problem- tends to be other way round! lol. Seriously though your virginity is the one thing that when you lose, you can't get back so don't let go of it till your ready. Your gf seems great in willing to wait and so you shouldn't feel like your letting her down. Just do what feels right when it feels right for you, let it happen and you will be fine. good luck
Anon
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