A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ok someone please give me some insight on this situation. I was talking marriage with this guy I have been with for almost 9 months. Well he said he wanted me to explore other options before I settle for him. I said no I didn't want to. He asked me why not. He kept pushing and pushing so I told him this: I already tried to date someone a few months ago. We went out for lunch and coffee afterward thats it.while I was with the man I seen a car like my boyfriends so I pushed my date to the side and ran from him waiting to see if it was my boyfriend. My heart was racing and my head felt like it was going to explode! I was also shaking too. Well it wasn't his. I was relieved. I went back to my date and said Thanks for lunch but I want to go home now. I felt horrible. Well my boyfriend was so mad he left and said he wasn't breaking up with me. He is in shock. Well he wouldn't talk to me at all. His friend came here to talk to me. He feels that I have not done any wrong so he went and talked to him. His friend said he can't fix this but he can try. My ex common law also went over to his house and told him that he has known me for almost 20 years and I wouldn't do this. I am not that type to do this. Well my boyfriend said he wants to be alone but she won't let me. My ex said you don't really want that, do you? Because you two look so happy together. My boyfriend then said he would talk to me after work. In turn he asked me out to lunch the next day instead. On the way to the restaurant and while he we were eating he was fliting with me.Then when he dropped me off at my home he said, we are only friends for now. We have to be patient. things are going to be slow now.I did argue that I didn't want that but he said then we have nothing.i got out and went in. I was not even in the house 10 minutes when he sent me a txt message that said Remember you are mine. So later that night I went for a walk and text him it was cold outside. He retuned a text back asking where are you? I told him I was walking outside late at night. he said to be careful. He called me after midnight. we did talk for a bit. I asked him how long I have to wait because I really miss him and want to be us again. He said not yet be patient.I guess I should tell you that I met the guy online dating. That was the first time and last time I do that. I swear!My boyfriend did ask me where I met the guy so I told him the truth.The reason I did it was because I was having mixed feelings for him and besides he was hardly calling me, texting me or seeing me either. I told him that too. Now I have asked a bunch of people the same questions and some people have the same opinions.Some say wait because he wants to see if you are going to be honest and wait for him. others say it's over. I am so confused! Someone please help me!!! I don't want to lose him but what can I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, candygirl  +, writes (17 November 2008):
 Me and my other half did this once. Broke up then got back together a day later. Clearly this hasnt happened with you, but look at this from your partner's view... you went out wit a guy on a date very early on in the relationship where you are most vunerable to other ppl movin in on your feelings.
He says remember you are mine so you have not lost him AT ALL. like he said be patient, eventually wen you guys get bak together you'll be so strong that nothin can affect you. He clearly does still care bout you as he says be careful, and even rung you to make sure you were alright- tahts true love babe... Ringing you wen you're not officially together and wanting to know your alright
Yes you may only be friends at the moment but friends is better than nothin. Keep talkin to him like you do and every now and again say you miss him. He knows this already but hearing every now and again may make him realise how much he misses you.
Just because you dont speak often or see each other all the time, you still love him as you dont want to just move onto someone else during this break
Trust me, breaks in relationships will brint the two of you closer and closer together.
Dont give up he still loves you!
Good luck
Candygirl
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