A
male
age
41-50,
*anvey
writes:Let me know what you guys think.I've been going out with a girl for 9 months yesterday. When we had been together for 3 months we feel pregnant, we decided to abort it due to certain issues one of them being money. She then started to become really insecure about her self and I tried to help her. She thought I was always on the look out for someone else but to me she is perfect. which I told her lots. I went to meet some friends for the weekend girls and guys and she thought I was off to set something up with one of the girls but I wasn’t and tried to convince her. I had invited her to come but she didn’t want to come. She was really paranoid about where I work and I went to my mass dinner and she got the hump about it. So she went to hers and met this guy. Nothing happened then.Subsequently since though she has got his number and he texts her and she texts him back. She hid it but I had a hunch it was happening so stole her hone one morning I only had to open it and see his name I didn’t read the message or go down her phone. She said it was all innocent I was very upset. A week went passed and in that week I have found out that she has been going to lunch with this guy every day for two weeks. Everyday she has been picking me up from the station and this Monday she asked me to get the bus, which I thought was strange as she was coming to mine for dinner. I tried to ring her but rang about 20 times with out an answer. My gut told me something was happening and when I went to the parking lot her car was there she obviously was out with him. Which she admitted.I then find out that she lied to me about going out with her friends on the Friday and went to see him, and they kissed, that night she came back to my house and we spent the night together and were intimate. She now says that she wants a break which I have given her. I know it’s not been long but it’s been 3 days and I’ve found out she is still going to lunch with him and planned to go out with him tonight even though she told me she was going out with her friends. He also drops her home after work. When I went round to hers to talk me also suspect she was on the phone to him.She says they have not slept together and I want to believe that. This girl is my future, I had instructed people to look for rings for me and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.I don’t want to be played for a fool I don’t want her going out with other people whilst were on a break I don’t see it as fair on me. But I want to keep her I don’t want to be a safety net. What should I do?
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a break, insecure, money, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (23 January 2009):
 Hello,
You sound a really great guy! Is there any way you could force yourself to go into a "no contact" mode. This will fish her out and hopefully she will miss you and start questioning what she is doing. She asked for a break so give her what she wants. A break.
Out of interest, with regards to you ringing her 20 odd times....Don't do this again! she "knows" she has you. Be a challenge....don't contact anymore and when she does, be cool about it. xxxx
A
female
reader, x-Happy-Feet-x +, writes (23 January 2009):
 oh i am sorry, you sound really nice, well my first opinion is yes you are being played for a fool sorry about that, but i really think that if shes the one then you need to fight for her, the best thing to do! send her this link!!! send her it, from what you have said it seems as if you really love her and i reckon that from what you have been through together ( the first 3 months i think that if she see's this then she' will no who loves her, who wants to settle, who's in the wrong, and it might just shock her a bit because there must be something going on in her mind, talk to her, thats the best thing, invite her round hope everything goes wellfor you
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