A
female
age
41-50,
*urious is SA
writes:O.K, So my husband and I have been married for 2 years, we were separated for 3 months however now that we are back together my sex drive is much higher, however before the separation we were not sexually active and now we still are not. While the separation he was with 6 women and I ask him now, if you can be with 6 women in 3 months why can't you be with me twice a week. He stated that he has to be with me for the rest of his life and it's just different. Mind you we do not have any kids together and I have no kids at all so nothing is keeping us together other than love but the sex is just off. What is wrong here.
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female
reader, HoneyEyedLatina +, writes (26 April 2011):
 I think he has a problem downstairs. Even if he wasn't interested in you, he would still come to you for sex. Are you sure he's not sleeping with someone else on the side?
A
female
reader, Curious is SA +, writes (20 April 2011):
Curious is SA is verified as being by the original poster of the questionO.K so I spoke to him again about this and he states that he is still in love with me and he does not know why but to him i make sex like a chore. Like i say we should have it every night and when i know that isn't possible because he has 2 kids that we have full custody of, so i say o.k then like twice a week and he says "damn you make sex like a chore, why can't it just be natural" like no time frame and it just happen so like if we have gone a week and 1/2 with out just let it be. I don't know what to think. He says that he is still in love with me however somethings it goes through my head that he wants me there for other reasons. Damn I am so confussed, i mean i look good and i know he knows i look good so what is the problem. I guess you would just have to be in our situation to completly understand me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): Look, if he was sleeping with someone else, you should not consider that he is a candidate for a healthy marriage.Sorry, but marriage, in the best of circumstances requires work, effort, by both parties to make it work. And if he's been with other women, well, that's just not a marriage; To say nothing about what's going on with you and him. I've been married for 32 years, my wife has schizophrenia and for some reason -- she can't kiss, it causes real problems for her. Oh, I forget, she sucks me off whenever I like. After 32 years my wife is still pleased to take me in her mouth any time I ask.And I've never looked elsewhere or gone outside our marriage -- though several years ago she was so sick she couldn't do anything for about five years. But we love each other. So adjustments are possible WHEN PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER. But if he's sleeping with other women he doesn't love you. He may like you, he may be fond of you, but he doesn't love you. He may even be married to you, but he doesn't love you.
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A
female
reader, HoneyEyedLatina +, writes (20 April 2011):
I just want you to know that it has nothing to do with you. It's all him. My situation is kinda like yours. Hear me out:My fiance and I broke up when I was pregnant because he and I hardly ever had sex because he was addicted to porn/masturbation. I know that porn/masturbation has nothing to do with you but just hear me out. Now I know porn/masturbation is normal because I do it too, but he did it everyday. Problem is, is that he can only ejaculate once a day so if he already pleased himself before I see him then I'm SOL. I never understood why he was addicted to it because I look exactly like the women he likes to get off too. Latina/petite/naturally large chested etc etc. Other than kicking his ass because I was sexually frustrated as a pregnant woman, I decided to break up with him cause I could not handle it. Well after I had the baby we got back together and what do you know, we hardly have sex! I'd say it's about once every two weeks. I still look the exact same and did not get one single stretch mark. Also, during the course of my pregnancy I did 300 kegels a day because it helped my sex drive. I needed some type of action and toys literally hurt me cause I was so sensitive. Well due to that, my vagina has gotten so unbelievably tight and you would think that would encourage him to have sex more but noooo. He comes home from work and I beg to come over and have sex and he says hes too tired (he works very long hours)and says he can not perform (i told him i would do all the work). However, after I hang up with him he will then look up porn and masturbate. He admits this and he says that it's much easier for him to get off on his own because he's really tired and it would be hard for him to get off with another partner. Whatever the hell that means. Well hell my body is the type of body that he fantasizes about and I'm as tight as his hand and he still hardly has sex with me! What the hell is wrong here??I've come to realize that HE is the one with the problem. He claims that when we move in together (soon) he will not masturbate everyday but I find that doubtful because I begged him almost everyday during our relationship to let me come over and hop on. He was always too tired. Keep in mind that he can only ejaculate once a day. In your case, I would say that your husband is very insensitive for saying that the reason you guys hardly have sex is because he's going to have you for the rest of his life. In other words, he's basically saying that he had more of a sexual urge with the other women and doesn't have much of a sexual urge with you because your not going anywhere. Have you seen what these women looked like our of curiosity? Are you even sure he slept with 6 women? He could just be saying that to make himself look good. I would also check his computer history to see if he's pleasing himself instead cause that could be a major factor in this. I was thinking maybe he was exaggerating about the 6 women to make him look good and to prove to you that there is nothing wrong with his sex drive and that in reality he suffers from erectile dysfunction. Most men with that condition can not get it up as frequently as other guys who can. I'm just guessing here.If that's not the case then I would suggest role playing and buying sexy outfits or lingerie. If that doesn't help then I would suggest some type of counseling or leaving him. The reason I say this is because you are still young and no one wants to be in a marriage that has barely any affection for the rest of their life. If you do leave him I'm sure you will find other guys that are dying to see you naked and get inside of you!
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