A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i've been with my partener for 2 years and we have a 7 month old son together. At first everything was fantastic but he drinks a lot and has a very bad temper. Over the last few months weve been arguing all the time over really small stupid things. He always thinks i'm getting at him when i'm not and he's so aggresive all the time, though not in a physical way. He flips out over nothing and then goes in a mood for ages. There's been times we haven't spoken for 3 days and we live together!I've threatened to leave him loads of times but love him so much i can't do it. Out of the blue he bought me an engagement ring at christmas and i was over the moon, but i haven't even been wearing the ring for the last month because of all the rowing. We're great when we don't argue but because he has a naturally bad temper and then the drinking makes it worse he's always so short tempered with me. I wouldn't mind if we were arguing over somethng important but it's always over pathetic things that most people would never row about. I dont know what to do. If i try to talk to him about it he thinks i'm trying to cause another argument. please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): Men are programmed to automatically think "Oh f***ing hell, what' it going to be THIS time?" whenever a woman says "I need to talk to you".
First off I think you need to let him know that his drinking is affecting his moods which are ultimately affecting your relationship. If he can't sit down and have a rational conversation about it without flying off the handle I'm afraid there's little you can do about it. You have to either like it or lump it.
If you love him so much that you can't possibly leave him, then I'm afraid you're stuck with him unless he decides to leave you. It's no good making any sort of threat if you're not willing to carry it through. It's what's known as an empty threat and is about as much use as a chocolate coffee pot.
Spell out to him that things have got to change for the better otherwise there's no future in it, and the relationship is in grave danger of hitting the rocks.
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