A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I have a dance coming up in a month where it is a girls ask guys dance. Well one of my guy friends that I've known for over 4 years wanted to go with me and I figured hey, why not. So I asked him (more like he asked me). Well it's been a week and now he's saying he is in love with me and all this crap. Yesterday we hung out and he was trying to hug me and kiss me which I've told him we are only friends. So since I thought we where friends I hug him goodbye. The next day before I even woke up (around 9) I had 11 text massages from this guy. That scared me. So I call up my friend and I start talking to her about my problems. She then tells me after I left that he told all of his friends he was going to try and have sex with me and all this stuff after the dance. I felt so disrespected from this guy, which I had given him a so many chances to prove to me he could be a nice guy and my friend. I call him up, told him what I knew from my friend. He told me had was just joking around with his friends and now everyone thinks I'm going to do it with him. I told him I wasn't going to the dance anymore with him. Now he won't stop texting me saying he loves me and stuff. I don't trust him and I only agreed to go with the dance with him because I thought we could just be friends. I feel very nerous now because I think he is going to tell lies to everyone about me and him. I'm planning on asking another guy to the dance but I feel guilty now. Do you know anything that could help me relax or fix this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2013): Ignore that jerk and go to the dance with someone else.
I mean, ignoring him probably won't work, so try explaining it to him (but don't be misled by what he will surely say to convince you!!). However, if that doesn't work, you must remember that at some point the right time comes to tell him to f*** off. Loud and clear, so that he understands.
Good luck and have a great dance!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2013): You're a very strong woman. You followed your instict. You did the right thing. Now, as a strong woman, stop second guessing yourself.
When someone makes you feel like this, when they disrespect you and say horrible things about you to others - you set firm and clear boundaries. Which you did by telling him you two WERE just friends and will no longer be going to the dance together.
You absolutely did the right thing. If he continues to bother you tell your parents. They know how to protect you legally and with authority. Tell people that you decided against going to the dance with him as he was disrespectful. If he makes something up, laugh it off and tell everyone exactly what a weirdo he is.
You're a smart and strong girl. Good job!
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (14 January 2013):
 Ask another guy to the dance and don't feel guilty about it!
Obviously I don't know the guy, but from what you've written:
At best, he has a huge crush on you, is totally smitten, and is overly enthusiastic.
At worst, he's a creep who's overstepping the boundaries and he's making you scared and anxious.
Tell him (again) that you're just friends, and you won't even be that if he can't accept it.
How to relax: go to the dance and have a great time.
In future, if you can't trust him and think he's going to make up stories then avoid him and don't risk giving him any signs that you're interested because he sounds quite tenacious.
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