A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:me and my bf have been talking about having sex he is a virgin and i am not we planned to either do it when we go away for a weekend in may is we both feel comfortable or in july after my prom. i and very nervous as i want to make it special for him. heres some questiosnhow can i keep him calmhow can i make him last longershould i use a condom we both been tested and im on the pill plus i hate condomsany ideas how to make it special
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male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (2 March 2007):
 How can you make a male virgin who's about to get laid for the first time calm? Well, you could probably shoot him in the head, but short of that I can't think of a way.
It really does help if the two of you are thoroughly familiar with one another's bodies before THE day. Get the exploring and groping and some of the awkwardness out of the way beforehand. Make sure he knows where all the right bits of you are, and you know where all of his are (a much easier task!) And enjoy this process pf getting to know one another physically too ... it's part of growing closer together. After all sex is not just a mechanical act but an expression of something much deeper.
And honey, EVERYBODY hates condoms, but if you're smart you'll use them. Every time. There's just too much that can go wrong. Even with them, you're not 100% safe, but you're a WHOLE lot safer than you would be without them. Without a condom, you're gambling the rest of your life against something you "don't like". Think about it. And best of luck to you and your guy.
And about that thing about coming too soon. Point 1: he'll recharge before too really long, and the second time will take him much longer. And point #2: tell him to learn what Kegel exercises are for men, and to start practicing them. They allow him to "hold back" at just the right moment, to still enjoy the pleasure of orgasm, but to be ready to go again full blast in a matter of minutes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe have done other sexual things and we know each others body very well and how to turn each other on and we feel it right we wanna express our love now in a more phsyical way
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A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (1 March 2007):
If you have been tested for STDs and he is a virgin and you are on the pill, then I think you'd be okay without a condom.
The best thing you can do is to avoid making it into a really big thing - the fact that you have two dates in your mind suggests that there is going to be some pressure to actually have sex on those dates - no one likes pressure to have sex, even those of us who have been doing it for more than 20 years!
I would just enjoy the opportunity to be with each other in an intimate way and do what comes naturally. Don't hurry into sex and don't be determined that it should happen.
First you really ought to have sexual intimacy which does not involve intercourse before diving in, as it were - you should get used to being with each other's naked bodies, touching them, and so on, and not be so focused on actual penetration.
You should certainly not worry about how to make him last longer - he might last for hours and you'll be asking how to make him come quicker! Have fewer expectations.
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A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (1 March 2007):
If you have been tested for STDs and he is a virgin and you are on the pill, then I think you'd be okay without a condom.
The best thing you can do is to avoid making it into a really big thing - the fact that you have two dates in your mind suggests that there is going to be some pressure to actually have sex on those dates - no one likes pressure to have sex, even those of us who have been doing it for more than 20 years!
I would just enjoy the opportunity to be with each other in an intimate way and do what comes naturally. Don't hurry into sex and don't be determined that it should happen.
First you really ought to have sexual intimacy which does not involve intercourse before diving in, as it were - you should get used to being with each other's naked bodies, touching them, and so on, and not be so focused on actual penetration.
You should certainly not worry about how to make him last longer - he might last for hours and you'll be asking how to make him come quicker! Have fewer expectations.
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