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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm 20 and in an inter-racial relationship. My boyfriend is 27 and I adore him. The problem is that we've been getting pretty serious and he talks about a future for us but I'm scared. I've kept our relationship thus far from my parents because I know they've always wanted me to marry a Chinese man and would hate me if they knew I have been seeing this guy. I also worry that because he's older he's going to want to rush things before I'm emotionally ready to handle them (ie. coming clean to my parents). Anyone been in this type of situation before or have any advice on this? Thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006): well if you can see any type of future with this guy, you need to come clean to your parents if they're a big enough part of your life. but don't be surprised if they don't take it well at first, as parents tend to over-react initially, and then realize they're in the wrong.
also, him being 27 and you being 20, he may be at a totally different place in his life emotionally, as you mentioned. he might want to make a commitment quicker than you're prepared for, or to be married sooner than you're ready for. but you can't rush into anything. that's one really crucial factor to keep in mind. because if he loves you, he'll understand that he needs to move at your pace.
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