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*rinLynn
writes: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now, and have been living together for a very long time. We are completely comfortable with each other in every way except sexually. I enjoy trying new things, and watching porns, and even using sex toys. But he hasn't ever used toys before, and just refuses to try anything new like this. He won't even watch a dirty movie on tv if I'm watching it. It's like he's not comfortable with these things, or he's shy. What can I do to change this?
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (15 June 2005):
Maybe whilst the two of you are together, sexually you can gradually introduce some toys, something like a love egg at first and start to play with yourself with it and see his reaction, he may very well like the sight of you playing and that could be enough to get the ball rolling. Maybe have some pillow talk with him, tell him that you love him, reassure him that hes not some sex object, but someone that you would love to have some sexual fun with and experiment with. It could be that hes unsure as he feels that is is some kind of sexual machine, try and keep it relaxed and slowly stage by stage introduce things into the bedroom. Ask him if he would like to see you play, tell him that you would very much like to turn him on in this way, and thatyou would love to give him as much pleasure as he gives you. You can all but try, keeping it pretty low key to begin, making him feel the important one,as it seems he may be thinking that ifyou want sex toys he isnot enough for you. Let him know this isnt the case its more that you want to find ways in which the two of you can have more fun together! Ask him if he can think of some ways in which he would like to experiment, ask him what his fantasy's are. If you make it so that he comes up with the idea it should be easier and he will see that its not becuase hes not up to it, but more that its alot more fun when you do other things together. I hope this helps.
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