A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so, I'm a virgin and I have been dating this guy for a while. We are both virgins and while sex is not an immediate thing in our relationship, I have wanted it at times (as I am sure he does too), but we have not as of yet for multiple reasons. But, I have a few concerns:1. I never was big on self masturbation (I use to share a bedroom, so, definitely not), and I just dont find it as enjoyable as other things. Either way, I have never orgasmed, or really comed a lot. It is my worry that when the time comes, I won't, and that kind of upsets me.2. I took an injury to my pelvic bone, right between my legs when I was younger. While I am not a man, it still hurt a lot. Now that my boyfriend and I have done a few things, I worry that maybe I have lost some feeling down there. He's, um, serviced me a few times, and it doesnt feel as good as I thought. Maybe its because my body isnt into that type of thing, or maybe that injury has damaged some nerves down there. Any thoughts?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2010): Good job for waiting, and keep waiting until you are absolutely positive this is what you want. Be safe, condoms and birth control, you don't want any STD's or pregnancy and the "pull out method" is NOT a form of birth control, you WILL get pregnant. Ok just had to get that out, in case you didn't know, but I'm guessing you did because you sound like a pretty smart girl. Now onto your concerns. Not all girls masturbate and that's fine. The only downside to it is that neither you or your body is familiar with the types of sensations you'll be engaged in when you do get into those situations. Masturbation is a way to get to know your body and know what turns you on, and what makes you feel good. That IS a good thing to know because that will help you to reach orgasm during sex if you are able to communicate to your partner what you like and what makes you feel good. Because he is also a virgin he probably won't know his way around your body either. Once you find out what you like then you can tell him how to touch you and where to touch you to help you reach orgasm. Now not all women can orgasm from vaginal penetration, most can't, and most women don't orgasm the first time they have sex anyway. That's normal, it takes time for your body to get used to the sensations and then you'll enjoy it.Now your second question has a few parts that i find. The first about your injury...we can't diagnose that you should see a doctor and ask them about your concerns. I highly doubt you did any permanent damage though, the human body is very resilient. You should see the doctor anyway and get on some form of birth control if you aren't already since you are going to be engaging in sex at some time better to be safe than sorry. The second part of this question got me thinking, I'm going to assume you are talking about your boyfriend fingering you (inserting his fingers in your vagina). If you are a virgin it may be very tight and his fingers can cause some discomfort as your muscles stretch, especially if you have never masturbated on your own before. This also could be because you weren't turned on enough and lubricated enough. This too is something that takes time to get used to. My suggestion...wait!! I think you two need to spend a lot more time getting to know each others bodies, feeling each other out and learning what makes both of you feel good before you go into having sex.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2010): I can answer the first concern - rarely anyone (female that is) ever orgasmes on their first time, took me a few months of being with my partner to relax enough to truely and utterly enjoy it. So, don't get up set if you don't on your first time or the time after that etc ... it is perfectly natural whatever your body decides to do. Whatever happens, just take things slow and try to relax as best you can :)
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