A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:[Mod Note: OP's title]My friend likes the same guy I do, but she has a boyfriend. She is thinking about dumping him, but the guy we both like found out she likes him, and now ignores her most of the time. Another friend of mine asked him out for me, and he still jokes around with me, and talks to me. I really want to go out with him, but I don't know if he fancies me, and if I do, I will feel really guilty because my friend fancied him first. But whenever I think of her going out with him instead, it makes me upset. Help me, what should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, that is real great advice. I have already asked him out, but he said no, so I am really confused. When I told my friend (who fancies him) that I think he keeps looking at me, she said he's probably trying to figure out if he still likes me. Is that true? He knows she fancies him, and speaks to me more than her now that he knows.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): First of all, congratulate yourself on being a caring friend. In general, it's not worth ending a friendship over a guy. But your friend does have a bf, so she is technically off limits and you're single. Whatever decision you choose, be prepared that if you DO go out with him, you could lose your friend. Always be upfront and honest with her if you do decide to pursue him. However, if she manages to get to him first and ask him out, be the bigger person. Tell her that you're happy for her and say, “I admit I’m a little jealous, but I’m happy for you and care about our friendship so go for it. Just don’t tell me every single little detail, OK?” and find another guy to crush on. (Or perhaps the guy you like has some cute friends he can set you up with and you can all double date.)
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