A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A while back I went to this party with my friends. I had been upset that night because I saw my "boyfriend" at the time going to another party with girls he claimed were his "friends" When we got to the house, there were about ten guys there and just us three girls. The guys gave us alcohol and I foolishly kept drinking and drinking to forget about my boyfriend for a while. I started feeling sick and this guy that lives there asked if I needed to go to the bathroom. I said yes and he took me upstairs. While in the bathroom, I threw up and he gave me mouthwash after. He then layed me down on his bed and put a bucket next to it. He asked if I wanted to have sex but I said no and he left. He came back after a while and I was still puking. He asked again and for some reason I said ok and asked if he had a condom and he said he did. I didnt realize what I was doing at all and my head felt like it was going to explode. After ten or so seconds, I pushed him away because my body was aching all over. I havent seen him at all since then, not even the next moring but I found out that all the guys were calling me a slut but I would NEVER in a million years have sex with him sober. Is this my fault or was I truly raped?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): Hey, Im Tristan and I'm an 18 year old from Australia. Im studying law at the moment and in Victoria there are certain sexual offense laws. Rape law in every state is different but if its anything like Victorian law (victoria's the state i live in) this unfortunately wouldnt constitute statutory rape. the definition states there has to be consent, which even though you were drunk, you gave. next, staturtory rape also states a term "failure to remove the penis from vagina, anus or mouth apon demand or request" which again, he did when you told him to. If the law in your state is anything like Australia's then unfortunately you wouldnt be able to charge for rape. im really sorry if you cant pursue this, but i would put it past you if you can.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): You remembered what was going on; so you were drunk, and you said "yes". You're entertaining the idea to label it rape because that would somehow in your mind relieve you of the guilt that you feel for making bad choices (or, you think, perhaps in your BF's mind): drinking too much and saying yes to sex with a guy who wasn't your BF, a one-nighter, plus, having a dozen+ guys know about it. Sorry, Toots: You're not off the hook. You were not raped. Any other answer is a plain excuse for you making bad choices. (Was he drinking? I'm guessing so....) Stop blaming others for your bad choices...
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A
male
reader, surewhynot? +, writes (15 March 2009):
I am 2 sided on this issue. I agree with some of the notes below that you were drunk, and eventually said yes. So, this was somewhat consent. At the same token, you were so drunk that you were puking. I don't know what kind of idiot would have sex with someone that is puking? Obviously, they are sick from something, and unable to comprehend what is going on.
If you have not gone to the police, then there is no case left. The evidence has probably been washed away, and even then, you need to show bruises and the later to call it rape. If you tried to make this a court case, you most likely would lose, even with a good attorney. This my dear is how I would see it if I were you. Don't consider this rape, but a lesson learned well. I would be careful how much you drink, and being around drunk men- they do get stupid.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): You got drunk you said yes. You took the alcohol they did not force you to drink. It was wrong he took advantage of you in a weakened state of mind. As for rape I don't think so but if I were you I would talk to your local prosecuting atty to see if you have a case against him. Laws on rape in every state are different. Don't scream rape unless you know it was rape. Basically you were taken advantage of. It has happened to me before and it really sucks it is degrating and makes you feel dirty I'm sorry you have to deal with this I hope you can make it past it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): I'm no lawyer, but I think you have to be competent to consent. If you're so drunk that your puking, I don't see how your 'consent' could be valid. If you want to pursue it, you'll have to consult a lawyer, but I think there's a fair chance you could press charges.
As an aside, I simply cannot imagine what kind of low life would (a) ask a girl who's that drunk, and (b) want to have sex with someone who's puking.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): be careful of what your saying, you clearly state that you said yes and you asked him if he had protection and when you pushed him away it stopped. I'm not sure I would see that as rape but as a drunken mistake on your part to.
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