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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello people, i was faced with two seperate incidents that happen over a year ago, close to two. Basically, i webcam-ed in msn with strangers from a chatroom. And you guessed it, i "over-exposed" myself during the short webcam session. Worst of all, my face was showing during the start of the session, but not towards the end. And now, i feel very insecure and afraid that the webcam session might be recorded.For the first incident: I suspect that it was a guy but not a girl behind the PC. This "girl" was introduced from a guy i chatted with in the chatroom. As for the cam session, the "girl" i was webcam-ing with didnt show her face at all and made me call her cell while webcam-ing to hear my voice and she didnt speak cause she said she was shy, i eventually called using a private number. After the cam, i went to ask the guy in the chatroom, if the session might be recorded. He said not to worry, the girl, who was his friend, doesn't know how to record and even gave his cell number to me. And i noticed that the cell number he gave was the same as the one i called while cam-ing with the girl. So, i asked him about it, and he explained that the girl is at his home now with the cell phone, while hes chatting to me while he is at work. Therefore, the whole story sounds pretty hard to believe.For the 2nd incident: I also cam-ed with another girl i met in the chatroom, on msn. For this incident, at least i felt the opposite party was a girl as through her voice from the mic. I felt bad about webcam-ing, so days after the 2nd incident, i went to asked her if the session was recorded. She replied that it wasn't.Currently, for the past week, i couldn't stop thinking about these 2 incident that happend over a year ago. It has been affecting my mood, my studies/work, and everything else. I just can't stop thinking about this, it keeps on running on my head. There was guilt after webcam-ing, but none as strong as now. I know what i have done is wrong and i know i won't return to that chatroom or webcam with strangers ever again. Although, they said that they didnt record the webcam session, but they could be lying to me right? Moreover, my face was showing, even though I was using a fake e-mail acc and name, so they didn't have any of my information. Am i just being too paranoid or are my concerns valid? I haven't spoken about this incidents to anyone yet, so i am not sure if i should let my mum in on this. Cause the guilt, the fear of being exposed is killing me, and i am afraid it will consume my life away. P/S :I guess i need some advice on this matter and how to move on. Thanks.
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at work, chat room, insecure, move on, msn, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): Thanks people for your replies, some of them did really make me feel better about myself. Some of your comments, i guess really did hit the spot about me being guilty, ashamed. And i guess the suddenly flare in guilt might be due to reading an article about webcam-ing.
Another thing is, the reason i am keeping this from my mum is that she is under stress from her work at the moment, and she doesn't know much about computers, so she might not understand the situation. So, i am not entirely sure how she would react to the news.
I really hope that as time go by i can feel better, as i won't want to brood over this matter my whole life.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (31 December 2010):
 Google "cam whore"
http://www.google.nl/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=7&ved=0CDkQtwIwBg&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dw4kLuIzfseY&ei=Dw8eTY38C8Kl8QPPlKXFBQ&usg=AFQjCNErR0Fiez6XhhbAtsi_w3lbLKQp-g&sig2=XVetx7D1DF4nZWdCubcREw
A "funny" one but the fact that it is out there and the countless other results show that people do record. To do so is trivial.
In fact, your story reminds me of a dutch legal case playing now, a man arrested for talking to boys and getting them to expose themselves online by pretending to be a girl. Of course recording their actions. Boys were underage so it is a very serious case.
Everything on the web is recorded, forever. Live by it. Why ddo you think this forum doesn't allow real names or direct email exchanges?
Changes you are recorded and someone will share it? Impossible to say. Really, google cam whore and the amount of data either shows every girl that gets her tits out gets recorded or there must be tons of girls dropping their bra at the drop of a hat to account for it.
Nothing you can do about it now. Next time, keep your clothes on. or at least get her to show hers first. 2nd rule of the net. All the women are men and all the girls are FBI agents.
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A
female
reader, ThatsMyCookie  +, writes (31 December 2010):
 You need to relax and put it behind you. Focus on other things, spend more time on hobbies, anything to help you put it out of your mind for the time being.
I know from experience that these kinds of incidents - where afterwords you feel scared, tense and even sick - fade after time, so for now avoid thinking about it and try to concentate on other things.
You are looking for reassurance that they didn't record it, and allthough I can't give you that, I can say that if they did, it's not actually as bad as you think. Because you are so worried and scared, your mind is conjuring up possibilities and making you think that your worst nightmare is happening; when really it's not.
You NEED to relax and stay calm. Don't make any rash desicions concerning this. I think that you should wait a few weeks before telling your mum, purely because you will have already stopped feeling as panicked and will be more likely to discuss it rationally.
Everyone does things that they majorly regret in life and everyone makes mistakes. This mistake is something you can learn from so that you don't have to feel this way again.
Remember - it may take weeks for you to feel less scared and panicky, but I can honestly tell you that you won't feel like this for much longer. After a while it'll just be a thing of the past, a mistake you made a while ago, and you will be able to go about your normal life having learnt from it.
I really hope my advice has helped you because I truly know how you are feeling.
Much love :)
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 December 2010):
 There is a chance it got recorded. But what can you do? It happened, you made a mistake, and now you wont do it again. Thats all you can do about it. And it will be pointless to worry about matters you can not do anything about. If you want to worry about those matters then at least worry about something more important, such as poverty, global warming, human trafficking or something like that.
I don't mean to be harsh on you, but look at things in the big perspective. So what if it got recorded. Ok. Move on. There's nothing you can do about it, and if it does come back to bite you in the ass you can deal with it then, not now. For now just sit back, relax, and enjoy life. And like I said, there are worse things happening out there in the world than a bad recording of you floating around online. The world is full of people. Not even 1% will care if it actualy was recorded. The only one who cares the most is you, and the good fortune then is that you can choose whether or not you will let this affect you.
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A
female
reader, DenimandLace44  +, writes (31 December 2010):
 It sounds as if you have learned your lesson. There is no way to know if they did or didnt record your activities but I doubt that you would be recognized from a year old recording anyway... So many people have similar features and webcams aren't usually all that clear. They say Charlie Chaplin came in fourth place in a CC lookalike contest... So I wouldn't make myself sick over it if they do not have your correct information.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): You seem to be envisioning the worst case scenario...that someone knows you were fooled by a gay man into having cyber sex. You think someday, your face will appear on an internet article deploring cyber sex.
You might believe, your face is somewhere on the internet or someone's hard drive (unattached to your true name) and you want some sort of reassurance that it can't be linked back to you...
Hypothetically, it could be linked back to you via an IP address, but if you are not a hacker or under some sort of governmental investigation, no one will ever bother sifting through the trillion internet transactions from a year ago to see what happened.
Let me just say it is highly, highly, highly unlikely that man/woman has saved the encounter. Who wants to remember there cyber sex partners?
The real issue seems to be that you are ashamed of what you have done. Please don't be. People do this all the time. You are one in a billion. Really. You shouldn't feel guilty about this.
Perhaps the flare up in your guilt is linked to something else. A critical thing a partner or family said about cyber sex in general?
Please forgive yourself and move on. People do this. You are statistically a drop in the bucket. You won't be exposed. You lived, you learned, move on. You can still run for president one day. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): If it's out there it's out there. It doesn't seem to phase Pamela Anderson so just let it go and next time keep your knickers up.
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