A
female
age
36-40,
*ngel_Eyes6946
writes:Aright, well...I've dated this man for about a month now, he's 21- I'm 19. He wants me to move in with him 2 years (or earlier) from now because he will be moving away to another state late in 2009 or 2010. I don't know if I can just pick up and go because I have a mother who may retire soon and needs company, and just one brother who lives on his own and doesn't want to be stuck taking care of her. I really love this man deeply....what should I do? Should I pursue it and see what happens? Or just spare the both of us the heartache of not being together after a certain time? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): I really feel for you as I am, and have been, in a similar situation for 2 years now. When I met my boyfriend he said from the outset as soon as his visa was through he would be emigrating to Oz. It hung over us like a dark cloud and whenever we were out enjoying things I felt like it was never enough - never what he really wanted - and my self esteem suffered. He constantly compared the places we went with the 'amazing' opportunities he would find. He emigrated over 6 months ago and I have not gone yet - although I visited once. I say yet because I am still trying to decide but I feel huge resentment that he could abandon our relationship to pursue his goal like this. The point is it is damaging to go on too long with indecision and you have to decide whether you could cope with the emotions of leaving family and friends behind or whether resentment about doing that would in time ruin the relationship. Can you see a real future with this man? You are giving up a lot of stability for the unknown. On the other hand he could offer a new life and happiness and family can really tie you down in life if you let them when they are not always fully your responsibility. You have some time to prepare and see how things go - but the trouble is the deeper you get into the relationship now the greater the hurt. If I had my time again I would have cut out earlier because the heartache I have gone through, the expense of making 'half hearted' decisions because I'm not sure and it feels like my life is still on hold is so awful - I cannot let the relationship go but I can't seem to move it forward either. I am older than you (35) so you do have time on your side if things don't work out.
A
female
reader, xcore_123 +, writes (20 December 2007):
if you are truly deep deep deep in love with him than you know the answer. just ask him if you can visit home ever month or two. let him know how much it means to you. I have a feeling you are going to reget it if you end it,
...............................
|
