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female
,
anonymous
writes: I need a lot of help... I have been seeing a guy for 1.5yrs. We were very, very much in love with each other. Since I was going through a break-up when we first met, he had to convince me a lot to be with him and give him a chance. After about 6 months I totally gave into him... and we had a great time together. We always had our share of problems... the arguing, difference in opinon etc. While we were together, because of the silly mistakes he would make and because of my very low tolerance levels we would have crazy fights and I would want a break-up and he would beg me to give him another chance. And invariably we would always end up in each other's arms the very next day.The last fight we had was a few weeks ago and as usual he did something stupid (I caught him talking to his ex) and I asked that we break-up... I was very mad at him and I don't think I really even meant it. To cut a long story short, he is getting engaged to another girl tomorrow... she is someone his parents decided for him... she is very rich and beautiful and has always wanted to marry him. She lives in the UK and we live in India. He is planning to get married to her and move to UK. He also thinks this is going to solve his financial problems forever. He thinks he can now move to UK and make it big with her help. He has his entire family backing him up. What about me?? He blames the whole break-up on me. He insists that this girl was always around but he chose to be with me and since I drove him away so much, he now wants to marry her. I cannot belive he will put a ring on her finger in front of 400 odd people and pretend I never existed... after all, there was so much love b/w us. And he has known this woman for 5 days now... how can he do this to me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2006): As with KellyO, I believe he was just using his falling out with u as his excuse for marrying this other person. From this PoV, it blatantly looks as though he is just some greedy superficial bastard looking out for himself.
With that said, you perceived your love to have been perfect, but when you're utterly in love with this 'man', how could you have been completely sure he really felt the same way about you? As it apparently seems, look at the thousands of problems that couples face here on DearCupid - women and men say they were totally in love with each, but so and so problems arose, and so and so things happened, etc.
One and a half years isn't long my dear. In fact, when you're having the time of your life (thus far), things seem to move too fast for your liking. Then when crap happens, everything becomes a standstill - you'll be stuck in limbo, always looking back, always wanting what was, always question everything and anything.
However, I have to add one possible negative about you, is when he talked with his ex, why did you break up with him?
Aside from that, you have to think - is this bastard really worth it?
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (20 July 2006):
 Hi dearie,
There is little u can do about this if he has decided to go ahead and marry her. He shouldnt use you as excuse though. He made this decision based on his needs, his financial gains and comfort. He is selfish and isnt thinking about u right now.I really dont think u should worry yourself about a guy who is willing to marry to someone based sorely on money.
I know it is disheatening and u are heart broken at the moment but believe me,what is yours will always be yours and what isnt u have to accept and move on. If he is/was yours he wouldnt want to marry another girl becos of a silly argument u had about his ex.
My advise is that as much as it is difficult forget him and move on occupy yourself and thoughts, go out have fun enjoy yourself meet other people, try not to think about him. I promise u, u will find another person if u are willing to give it a chance. A guy who will be better than him and would understand u, also who wouldnt run off after a slight argument and turn to the firt availiable woman.
God luck and stay strong.
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