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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, me and my (Ex)girlfriend are both at uni and we have been together for 3 years. It is our first relationship and everything was really great until we got to uni about a year ago. Then we started really missing each other and she became really needy. She didnt like it when i went out with my friends because she didnt socialise that much. She hated feeling like this but didnt make the problem clear.Anyway we have now moved into the same house together for our 2nd year with 3 other people because we really wanted to be together. Problem is theres a guy where she works part time that told her he has feelings for her. She then admitted she has feelings for him and theyve been flirting ever since.We finally got everything out in the open about the problems we were having and about this guy and decided to take some time out. Since then her feelings for the guy have grown to the point where she says she might be falling in love with him. Thing is she is catholic and doesnt believe in sex before marriage (we didnt have sex in our relationship) but this guy has had a few one night stands in the past. It seems so unlike her to have feelings for someone like that! Im convinced its just that hes someone new since shes only been with me. Anyway we broke up officially about a month ago but she says she still loves me and im convinced if we give it another go it will work coz we learn from the past and make sure things dont go the same way. She is reluctant because she doesnt want to go back to the way things were before. She says she would want to be with me if we were happy like before uni.I just dont know what to do anymore coz i cant keep going on about how we can be happy together if we tried again, and then theres the fact she kinda wants to be with this other guy even tho shes admitted it probably wouldnt work with him! Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2006): Heya,
first of all dont worry im at uni and ive seen a lot of relationships break up when they get to uni you not the first or the last. Firstly you need to ask yourself if you want to be with her. sencondly if she doesnt feel the same it wont work. But il be honest that you no more about this than i do. But in my expieriance (im not saying its deffinate) every couple i have seen who have been on "a break" or a "time out" has spit. the bottom line is this almost completly rests on her shoulders (sorry) she needs to work out exactly how she feels then you both need to talk for a long time and work it out. good luck
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