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female
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*issing_you
writes: Hey everyone this is my first time ever posting on this board so I'm a little nervous, but need advice.A little over a week ago my fiancee and I decided to take a break - well actually he decided he needed time. He said he was definitely coming back to me so he left everything but his clothes at my place.We have kept in contact. He says he loves me but we had a lot of problems in the jealousy and fighting area even though he never did anything to make me insecure. He said he wants to make sure that things wont go back to the hurt.Friday he called me telling me he loved me and wants things to work out. Saturday was the first time that we saw each other since the split. There was some crying, some laughing and then he kissed me and it felt so right. But we had an agreement to keep the visit short and sweet so he left.A couple hours later he called me and asked if I wanted to shoot pool so we did and afterwards I invited him inside and things went too far and we ended up making love. He stayed until 2am Sunday but I haven't heard from him since.How do I know if were getting back together and this is the process or how do I know if im just being used for a booty call?
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a break, booty call, fiance, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (21 February 2006):
 Ok....iv got the full picture now.So the reason you split up for a little while was because of your insecurities.Do you feel jealous then if your boyfriend talks to other females then?...If you do then take a step back and ask yourself why?...is it because you think he will run off with someone else?....I do understand where you are coming from.....you obviously love your boyfriend and it does appear that he wants you to but he finds the arguments too much.Try and think like this......If your fella is talking to another girl...it doesnt mean that he fancies her.....if there was alot of flirting involved then i would be a bit suspicious but at the end of the day he is with you,not some other girl.Do you chat to other fellas?...Has something in the past....made you feel insecure at any time?.....Jealousy can be healthy.....but it can be destuctive as well.Enjoy what you have got and wait and see if your boyfriend and you can talk things out.Dont let your unfounded worries spoil your relationship.Take care.
A
male
reader, Andy J +, writes (21 February 2006):
 I no exactly how you feel, becasue my fiance broke up with me on the friday, then on the monday tuesday and wednesday night i stayed at her's. I felt really messed around with. But the only advice i can give to you is that you just need to ask him straight where you stand. I've found out now that my fiance only wants to be friends and that we'll never get back together, I'm truly crushed but beleive me its certaintly better that you no where you stand. Andy
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A
female
reader, Missing_you +, writes (21 February 2006):
Missing_you is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe told me he does want to become a couple again.He said he just doesn't want to get hurt again.I did hurt him some but not purposly (if that makes any sence) he said he wants to make sure everything will be ok before jumping into the same mess he was in with me before.Before he couldn't even talk to a female he knew without me feeling insecure he wants to take me out on friday to see if it can be fixed for some reason i can't control it and like i said its not that he had ever cheated on me and when we were together he was so proud to say this is my fiancee he was so proud to be with me.
He left at 2am because he has a roomate and he told him he was going to be home because things that happened really werent suppose to happen but we've always had alot of chemistry he told me he knew he was going to fall in love with me in a week.
I still have some of his things here because he insists we'll work things out and he insists we'll be back together he said and the proofs that his stuffs here.
I dont know and im scared of getting hurt too.
Thanks for responding i feel so alone.
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (20 February 2006):
Talk to him and ask him where you stand.It sounds like he doesnt know what he wants.What puzzles me is after you two got intimate,he decided to leave you at 2am in the morning....that doesnt sound right to me......why? because if he really wanted you back...why on earth did he shot off like that?...It does sound like he is using you to a degree.Put your cards on the table and ask him whether he wants to be a proper couple again....if he starts making excuses up then im afraid you have got your answer.Dont sleep with him again until you know for sure he wants you and no one else.Good luck.
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