A
female
age
30-35,
*aliMoore
writes:My best friend of 2 and half years told me he loved me a few weeks ago and i was very happy and told him how i felt about him in return.Later on in the conversation he then said he was unsure of his feelings for me and didn't want to say anymore until he was 100% as he didnt want to say something, change his mind and not mean it.A day went by and he said he still didnt know, i was confused as i told him i felt the same, so the feeling was mutual and there wasn't much time in between his two replies.Few more days went by and i confronted him and asked him if he had made his mind up as it was unfair to leave me in the dark not knowing the answer. We had a discussion and i asked him if he meant it when it told me he loved me, as it no longer felt like he did as he then told me he was unsure if he even liked me, he replied strongly and said that he did love me, and didn't want to mess me around and hurt me or ever loose me as a friend.he suggested we started 'seeing' each other, so i accepted and we did, things went well for the first few days, then he didn't talk as much, he suggested we meet up but whenever i brought it up and tried to make arrangements he brushed it off, and didnt make an effort at all.I brought up the meeting up thing multiple times, and after the 3rd i no longer brought it up as he was just being blunt and not trying.We then began to speak less and less, he didnt make anymore effort to even speak, let alone meet up, so much for seeing each other i thought.A week later i confronted him and asked where we stood, because it felt like we werent even friends anymore, we werent speaking and if we did, he was blunt and not talkative.He kept saying he was just confused, and wouldnt answer me, and continued to be blunt so i left it, fed up of feeling like it was all one sided, as he was the one who brought up his feelings...the next day after i confronted him i recieved a text from him asking 'are we were ok?' i replied 'i dont think we are, do you think we're ok?' and he didnt reply i then sent another text and said 'i dont want to fall out, its not worth it, lets just forget it then' and he still didnt reply.Later i was walking home, and he biked past me, he looked straight me and then looked down and continued on his way, ignoring me.That night my friend (which i didnt no at the time) spoke to him asking why he had ignored me, which resulted in him then speaking to me and apologising for ignoring me, it ended in him saying lets be friends again, so we did and he claimed he was relieved he didnt loose me as a friend.its been a week since that talk, and he no longer makes an effort to speak to me, if we do (which is not very often) im the one to begin the conversation with him (so much for being friends) and if/when we talk he is blunt and uninterested in the conversation, not making an effort.he just seems like he no longer cares, and is no longer bothered if he speaks to me now its not going anywhere.. but i find it hard to believe he doesnt care anymore as we've been friends for so long and used to speak everyday up until he told me he loved me and it all went wrong.(Btw this isn't the first time hes told me he wanted to be more than friends, hes told me 6 times in the 2.5 years i've known him!)this is why its even more frustrating that it could of finally gone somewhere, and hes like up and changed his mind! ? why come out and tell me such things like 'i love you' if he wasnt even planning on acting on it?ahh please help, it feels like this has been going on alot longer than it should have.. its even harder as its as if we're not even friends anymore :( what went wrong?please help and thanks in advance ,xo
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female
reader, Lindo  +, writes (9 December 2009):
wow =[
wel if its not the first time hes asked.. and you said yes the 6th time maybe he wasnt expecting it?
i think he jus feels really really alkward like he might not have been expecting you too feel the same way as you did/do.
Which is why when you startd 'seeing eachother' he probably didn kno how he shud treat you as you've been friends for so long!
then when it ended badly and now yous arent talkin anymore... thats all the awkward-ness if you know what i mean.. hes after telling you his feelings and obviously he doesnt know what he wants, i dont kno if you shud try revive the friendship or jus leave it..
if your going to try revive it, decided what you want and stick to it, be it friends or relationship, if you leave it.. he might eventually come around and start talking again, if he does be sure to still give him space just incase, try not to get your hopes up just incase.
i feel so sorry for you :(
hope things work out! hope ive helpd a lil bit! let me kno x
A
female
reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (9 December 2009):
 Sometimes when we think we love someone we mull it over and over and make it bigger than it is in our head until we finally blurt it out - sometimes this moment of an I love you either makes the person realize that while they're saying it it doesn't feel right, or it makes them feel it even more...
Seeing as this has been an ongoing thing with you and him though, It makes me wonder if he is really confused and chasing in all directions really trying to figure it out - perhaps he feels as though he should have let it stay where it was and now it's ruined.
He might not want to be with you as more than friends but sometimes this pushes men back because they don't want to give you false hope. He might though, on the other hand, really be trying to get his head together.
I personally would take a break from him, really give him the space he needs and give yourself some space too. It seems like you were meant to be friends and keep it that way - if it is meant to be, it will be with little effort, the way it is now is just causing undue stress.
I'd let him go. He'll come back if he wants to. The you can be friends.
xxx
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