A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:does his guy really like me?Ok...here is the story, its a long one! i just am so confused, i wish i could read guys minds! We met at college about 5 years ago, and for about 2 years we were the best of friends. We used to go to the cinema a big group of us, he used to come round to my house, we used to talk all the time it was great. We kissed once, but it was one night when we both were a bit drunk when we were out, and nothing really was said about it. We both then went out with people, i got a bf , and he had a gf. His gf was so protective over him that he hardly came out with his friends anymore, he just stayed in with her, and i hardly saw him. We still would speak obviuosly if we saw each other but we didn't have much contact.His gf hurt him in he end very badly. It was his first serious gf, and he was devestated. He got thruogh it though and started coming out with his mates again and i saw him more. I was still going out with my bf, but one night i went to a party and my bf wasn't there, at the end of the night i fell asleep on the guy (my friend) and we ended up kissing for ages.he next day we both felt so bad, beacuse i had cheated on my bf, and we said we would not say a word to anyone we were both just drunk. I couldn't forget about it though, how could i, i had cheated on my bf. I kept thinking i obvisouly don't love my bf enough if i could do that, and also is it really this guy that i like?? I was really off with my bf for ages, and sometimes when i was drunk i always ended up telling the guy i liked him. He tried it on with me another night, but i told him i couldn't cheat on my bf again.In the end it was my bf that said we should maybe split up, thinhs didn't seem the same anymore and he didn't see us being together for ever. I was gutted at the time, but then wondered if it was beacuse i was pushing him away because of the other guy. So me and my bf split up, and i carried on in the same group of friends that the guy was in. one night i ended up with him and we slept together. Since then we slept together nearly every weekend for about 2 months. I asked him if he liked me, and he said it was too soon after me and my bf split up he didn't want to be hurt (his ex gf went back to her ex) fair enough i thought and i slept with him a few more times. After 3 months had passed i realised this was the person i had liked all along. He is not the best looking person i would usally go for! and i was scared at first i didn't fancy him, i just liked him so much as a friend,but after sleeping with him i knew i did. i asked him again what was going on and he said he didn't want a relaionship and he didn't want to ruin our friendship.I told him we couldn't keep sleeping together all the time, cos i did like him, and i was going to get hurt. So we stopped and he said he jus wanted to be friend and that was all.We aren't good friends at all now though, when i see him out we hardly speak we avoid each other, when i text him he rarely texts back, and i get on better with all of his friends now rather than him. I just don't know if he truly likes me or if he really does just want to be friends...?Do i just leave it and then eventually our friendship will come back? I'm scared that he deosn't text me and speak to me cos he knows i like him and doesn't want to give me the wrong impression.But now i have nothing with him at all....and its making me feel so bad.Help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): I think he's terribly scared of being in a relationship, I think he got hurt badly and doesn't want to put himself in a situation that can potentally hurt him again. I think he likes you, but that right now his need to not be in a relationship is stronger.
Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything you can do about it. And anything you try to win him back it's only going to scare him off even more.
I think he's unsure on how to behave around you, he probably wants to avoid a situation where you'll end up declaring your unconditional love to him. I think you should give him time and space. Don't avoid him though, just accept the fact the he doesn't feel the way you do. Treat him normally, as you treat any other friend. Let him do the avoiding, let him be the one that's uncomfortable, you jsut be yourself and try not to hold against him the fact that he doesn't want a relationship with you.
If he's smart enough, he'll realise you're back to being a friend and he'll be back to truly being your friend again. If he's not, then honey, you don't need him in your life.
A
male
reader, I Waited For The One  +, writes (11 January 2007):
 Sorry to say this but to this so called friend, u was a easy f**k in is eyes. after u stoped the f**king he stopped talking to you so if he liked u one bit he would of said from the start lets give a go.to me i don't think he liked u in the way u liked him.he saw u happy and then f**ked u and now doesn't wanna be friends if there no sex? a true friend as he call's himself doesn't do that to other friends unless he didn't care in the first place.
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