A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started talking to a boy 6 months ago and we became, very quickly, best friends to the extent we ate every meal together and saw each other every minute of the day before chatting through other means when not together. He confessed to me after the third month when I already became quite frustrated because I sensed that he felt the same as me but was not acting on it yet he quickly retracted it. We became distanced then, until he made a dramatic apology and then he suddenly asked me to be his girlfriend 2 weeks after the original confession and retraction. I said yes because I thought he had made sure. Then he broke up with me again after 6 days. (Bear with me). After this I tried to distance myself again and it worked for two weeks before he apologised and then we became best friends again... His actions would sometimes go beyond the line of friend though like patting my head, calling me all times of day and skyping me everyday even when I was abroad. Finally, now after 6 months we had a number of arguments and he said he felt we were 'too close' and was stressed out about our entire relationship... I wasn't sure about it either because it was an awkward half friendship half relationship affair but I felt it was better than nothing… In a way maybe it was better to call it completely quits, bur I don't understand why he seemed to like me so much but not want to be with me? That and, how do I feel better now after losing what I felt was my bestfriend, I feel like something is missing all the time...
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 November 2014):
 If it's just six months then it won't be hard to let him go. You can foresee a pattern of an on and off thing. Later you will find that it's not better than nothing. I do see a lot of people here having similar problems where one of them wants to preserve the friendship by not going beyond the physical so they won't ruin it. I don't have a term for that but I think it has to do with attachment styles. I honestly think it is cowardly to settle with a half assed attitude. Don't be like him, thinking that it's better than nothing when obviously you want more, and are ready for more.
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