A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We got engaged when we were both 20, now it is 3 years later. We have lived together for a long time, and he says that we agreed marry few years later. Well, it is now 3yrs on going, and no sign of marriage yet. I love him, and treat him as if he was my husband, yet, I think he is doubting me since he still doesn't want to go to the next step. I feel that I need to keep on proving and I am tired of it. 3 years is a lot, I cannot deal with answering more questions to everyone asking me "when is the big day?" it sounds like he doesn't have to deal with stuff like I do, and it have been difficult for me to just smile and say "definitely some time" while inside of me I tear and ask myself do I move on? Does he really love me? If he did, we would be married..etc. It is tearing me on the inside and im trying to cope, though, it feels like he hasnt got a clue. Comments anyone?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (12 May 2007):
 I think he definitely loves you, he's just unsure about marriage aged 23. It is very young by anyone's standards. Sit down and talk to him properly. Tell him that it doesn't have to be next month but you would like to know if he envisages you as getting married eventually and if he says yes ask how he feels about setting a date for two years time, by which time you will have been engaged for five years and be a little bit older and more committed to each other. Two years I would imagine would give him time to grow up a bit and get more committed but talk to him to get to the root of the reasons for his reticence.
CD
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