A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just wanted to ask. Me and my girlfriend split up about 7 weeks ago now. We were in contact for the first 5 weeks, we met up twice and text each other and stuff. Then i decided to call her and tell her how i felt, she didnt want us to get back together. I dont think she sees it as 7 weeks because she has been so busy in her own life with exams, holidays, revision, celebrating end of exams etc etc. So i know what i need to do now, thats wait for her to contact me, concentrate on my and my own life and move my life on or forward.Then when we do speak, or do meet i will be in the right mindset, like i was when we first got together (and it will be a genuine change where its natural and im not paranoid or needy etc).We were each others first loves and we were really in love with each other, i gradually became more paranoid, controlling, worried, needy and clingy etc so the arguments followed and after lots of talks where she told me things needed to change, she wrote me letters etc and i just couldnt see it like i see it now so we split up after the final straw of my shouting over the phone over something stupid.Just wondering if the fact that we were first loves will it be a harder bond to break or will she have just forgotten about me completely?
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female
reader, inloveoutofmind  +, writes (13 July 2008):
you broke the bond and the reason she wont get back together with you is because she probably hasn't seen a change. its easy to just give up and let it go but what of the fight? did anyone say that relationships were gonna be simple? hell no! and that why i urge you to please dont let her go. show her that you have changed and if you become paranoid then talk to her about it :) its a lot better then keeping it in and waiting for it to build up until you explode. yea she is probably still in love but for two people to be together you have to give a little and take a little and explain and open up. that was your problem really you didnt open up to her and you didnt show her your true feeling thats why you became needy and paranoid. when you keep stuff in and dont express you feelings you end up hurting your relationship in the first place. once you can open up and begin a deeper connection that when you stop worrying about the little stuff like why she wont text you right away or why she wont call you or why she wont pick up.
A
female
reader, xXalmostanangelXx +, writes (13 July 2008):
wow, thats incredible how you put into words exactly what i was thinking when i split up with my ex, we, like you were each others first love. It can be an incredibly hard bond to break, I was with my boyfriend 3 years, and weve been split up 18 month now and it still gets me when i see him. We kept in contact for the first 6 months, still sleeping together, which is a big mistake! My advice to you would be, if she doesnt want you two to get back together you need to cut ties with her. Its alot harder than it sounds, and you probably wont do it first attempt! But its the only way you'lbe able to move on. You will probably always have that spark for each other, but you need to try and not get hung up on that. Remember you are "ex's" for a reason. Not only that, she knows how you feel, so if she wants to bewith u again, let her ask you!
If you decide you want to stay friends then thats your choice, but from experience it doesnt work...
Its goin to take time for you to really get over her, but trust me it does get easier as the time goes on
Tracey
xxx
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