We were due to get divorced but neither us wanted to! My wife was so upset, but was it the thought of loosing me or something else!?

A male age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Ok this is kinda complicated so you'll have to bare with me. Basically me and my wife have been friends all our lives and she was my first gf and i was her first bf. We've been married for 4 yrs after going out together for 9 yrs before getting married. Well we started to argue like most couples do and basically drifted apart sexually but still loved each other as friends and slept together(without nothing happening). In the end we decided it would be for the best if we got divorced and just stayed best friends cuz we still loved each other alot but only in a friendship way and we wanted separate lives if you get me. Well we have been separated for about5-6 months now,we decided to meet up to talk about divorce lawyers and stuff that we could sort out as it was alot easier seen as we are both still friends. Suddenly she went very quiet and just seemed to go along with what i said,she didn't seem right at all. I walked her home to see if i could try and find out what was wrong or if anything had happened but she kept saying there wasn't. She didn't exactually start crying on the way home but she was very upset and had tears in her eyes but all she kept saying was she was fine so i left it as it was obvious she didn't want to talk about it, anyway i kissd her goodbye and that was that. The next day i went shopping to get a new phone and ran into one of our best friends, Karen who my wife has always been close to and they tell each other everything. I told her what happened that night with us and that i was worried about her and at first she said she can't really ecplain it but then made me promise that if i didn't mention it to anyone she would tell me. At this point i got worried thinking she may be ill or something. We went for a drink and she told me that for these past 2 mnoths my wifes been finding life very hard without me and can't take the fact that we are getting divorced infact her exact words at one point were "she can't live without you,she wants you back,you were the one she looked up to and who got her though all the hard times in the past and now she knows she'll never have that love again. If you really ment what you told me that night you said you were still inlove with her then i suggest you tell her because she in a right mess and i've never known her to love anyone as much as you". I had a about 6 weeks back told Karen that i regretted it but i would continue with the divorce for my wifes sake because i just want her to be happy dispite how i feel. I am truely in love with her and now i look back on it i think at the time we were arguing it was because it was a bad time in our lives. My wife was very stressed with work-shes never really shown any emotion if shes upset she bottles it all up till i get it out of her way which is probably why she was so moody, and i think after all that we just drifted apart. So a few nights ago we met up for a drink and to talk, not necessarly about the divorce just in general, we talked for hours and i went back to hers(i moved out and have been staying with a friend until i find somewhere that i like)and it was just like being at home again. At one point she did seem abit upset but i didn't say anything until she went upstairs to get changed and when she came back down it looked like she'd been crying. I went and sat next to her and tryed to get it out of her but the more she said she was fine the more her voice started to break up. At the point i went to put my arms round her and give her a cuddle and she just sunk into me, she didn't start crying properly but there were a few tears. Later that night when she had calmed down we started talking and laughing and generally messing around as friends, i kissed her she kissed me we ended up in bed. The next morning i was lying there watching her sleep and finally decided to tell her i wanted us to give it another go. So i did and she said the same, suddenly all of the upset that she was going through has passed. Do you really think we are ment to be together, was it just a rough spot we were going through? And also do you really think she was upset because she loved me, well by that i mean obviously it was because she wouldn't have told someone but do you think that theres something else bothering her? I hate seeing her like that and she always throughout our whole relationship been afraid of loosing me. I really think we have a chance together and that we are made for each other but i need some peoples opions on this. I really love her with all my heart.

View related questions: best friend, divorce, her ex, moved out

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