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We went on 5 dates in the past. How should I view his reaction, yesterday?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 June 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 June 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *arisa Combs writes:

Yesterday I bumped into the guy I went on a few dates with( 5 dates) a few months ago.

It were only 5 dates but it lasted almost 2 months because he was abroad and rarely could see each other.

I called after him and he saw me, smiled very happily and gave me a friendly embrace.

We had a small talk but after that he became distant and ignored me. All of a sudden.

I am over him but I have to admit, seeing him moved something in me.

We broke up when he did something really awful but because we were at the beginnging I didnt want to make a big deal out of it.

Anyway he promised to stay friends( I did not believe that) and a few days after he blocked my number.

The thing that hurt the most what that when we broke it off I asked him in a joking voice if he will block me number and he said he is no, he is no...and this is exactly what he did.

How should I view his reaction? Being happy to see me, ask me lot of questions and then become awkward and ignore me

View related questions: broke up

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2017):

What difference does it make if he ignores you?

He did something awful right from the start. You said you were over him, and it was months ago all this happened. He's not interested. It bruised your ego to be blocked, but the jerk is doing you a favor by self-elimination.

Why did you need to stay friends with a guy who treated you awful and blocked your number?

Sometimes we have to learn to deal with rejection. It may not feel good, but it is no reflection on you as a person; nor does it devalue you in any way. You should have rejected him when he did something awful to you; and the heck with being friends.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (5 June 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt You should see it like the normal, average reaction of someone who is NOT partucularly happy to see you and at the same time wants to be smooth, casual, and debonair. He does not want to stir up any drama nor wants that this chance encounter turns into more embarassing than it should be.

Hence, the perfunctory friendliness ,- and the civil small talk - and that's it. He did not want to look rude or hostile- but he did not want either that you could get any ideas, as perhaps you are a bit inclined to do, seeing your search for hidden meanings in a banal exchange of social pleasantries.

He was being smooth, that's all.

Btw, you feel what you feel, ok , whether it's wise and appropriate or not ; but at least try to not feed the infatuation. You say yourself that you broke up with him because he did something AWFUL; plus, he promised not to block you , then he did it. I.e. he bullshitted you.

:.. And you even have breath to waste in calling after him and stop to hug and exchange plesantries ?? Why oh why .

I get it that you are over him and hold no grudges , and holding no grudhes is a wonderful trait of character M that does not mean that you've got to be all buddy buddy with people who in the past treated you awfully ! You can forgive people... and keep them safely in the pasr , and out of your current social circle.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (5 June 2017):

Honeypie agony auntWhat should you think?

That the man is still full of crap.

WORDS are cheap, OP. He seemed happy and chatty because he didn't want a scene and he enjoyed getting some attention momentarily. Don't read anything further into this.

Put him back in the past. He is an EX for a reason. I get that it stirred something to see him again in person, but remember his past actions and treatment of you - THAT should make it easier for you to say I'm done and over this guy.

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