A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for a very brief time (3 weeks) and we constantly text each other. He seems to be doing the chasing in terms of texting BUT he won't ask me out and I keep dropping hints!?!We've been out on dates/hung out twice, both times initiated by me and he seemed really up for it too. We both get along great etc... So I don't know why he won't ask, I don't want to have to keep asking him.The last date we were on was Friday, we were out drinking and things got a bit heated, he asked me back to his and I said no for a few reasons. He's still texted me after though.I'm really confused... am I just wasting my time? He is leaving the country next month for training for a while so I know it's not going to be a serious thing or anything. I don't know if this maybe is the reason but if it is why is he still texting?! I'm really confused!Any help appreciated :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): My opinion, texting is a very comfortable way of communicating w/someone without much effort. Really, you don't have to speak, you don't have to go out, just texting.
I don't know why guys doing it. One said to me that he texts several girls just to see what will come out of it. Some guys like to make booty texting after midnight. lol.I get several of them lately. I don't get angry, i just politely explain to them also texting, that i know what those texts mean at this time and ask them not to do it ever again, as they will not get any responce from me. Ussually, they stop.
One guy was texting to me at first every week, then every day, without asking me out. I got annoyed by that, and stoped answering right away, or very short answer like yes, or no. Now after 3 weeks of texting he finally asking me out, but still very slow process. Now we can't deside where to go, lol. Yesterday, i thought we would finally meet but he never texted me.
I have an impression that he texts me onlywhen he is at work, between 12 and4, because after 4 he stops.he works as a valet during summer, i think he is bored out of his mind, and that's why he texts.
I wouldn't really think too much of guys like that. Find a guy who actually likes to talk and take you out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so muck AskOldersister :)
That just confirmed what I've been thinking. I'm wasted enough time on time wasters!
Thank you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you :)
Both really good answers.
I think to be honest if he doesn't text me to see why I'm not texting him (long shot...) then I'll just leave it. If he wasn't going away then BunnyTee I'd do exactly as you said. I just can't handle laying anything on the table when he's going away next month indefinitely. I just don't want to waste any time. It would honestly be completely different if he was staying, I'd give it more of a go.
Thanks for the advice again :)
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 Oddly, I am decidedly old school in this, so it may seem as though I'm from Mars or something, but I believe there is something to be said for that old antiquated notion of actually speaking to someone about what's on your mind, rather than hiding behind texting!
If you want to know something, girl, then JUST ASK, like real words coming out of your mouth.
There's far, FAR too much time devoted to trying to divine meanings from countless texts and Facebook nonsense. Just speak to the guy face to face. I know it's scary-sounding but people have used this successfully for thousands of years! Things like facial expressions, tone of voice, body language and feelings, cannot be read in texting and Facebook poking nonsense. Be human! Live don't just exist. Interact in real time, try it you may like it.
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A
male
reader, brownale  +, writes (8 June 2010):
Has he had many sexual relationships before ? If not he could be nerves , embarrassed or shy to make the first move's. Maybe he's not getting the hints which is very unlikely. I think you should sit him down on a date or what ever is more comfortable for you and tell him how you feel. If he dosnt seem to make any changes and he is moving away for a while maybe its time to get on with your life there's no point in waiting around there plenty more blokes out there .
Good luck
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