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female
,
anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend of a a year broke up over the weekend. He came over last night, just because I had some quetions that I needed answer so I could accept it and move on. However.. all we got out of it was that we still love eachother, and the reason we broke up is because he has issues (anger/commitment) that he needs to work out. He was raised by his dad, parents divorced at a young age, his mom has been divorced twice plus had a fiance leave her. He learned everything he knows about reacting from his dad, who had anger problems. So, he bottles up everything inside and then I take the wrath when he's ready to let go. He gets mad at ME when he knows I don't deserve. So he ended it, because that way he couldn't hurt me anymore. We both wish we had a magic wand that could make his problems go away and have us be together and happy. I just am wondering what to do. I want to be there for him, but he wanted to try and deal with it on his own. I want to be with him still. I want to make it work. It's fresh, so maybe it's just emotional. Sorry this is long, but I need help !
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks. he just says he WANTS to change so we can work.. but he know who he is and he's been this way for 19 years and hes not sure he CAN change. but i believe and know he can.. my dad can set him up with someone through work. it's just so hard to see him go through this that iii have to suffer. and i WANT to help him.. its just, he broke up with me because he wanted to do it alone..i dont want to give and give and give and get my heart broken later.
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (24 October 2006):
 Hello Anonymous,
I think seeing a therapist or going to anger management sessions/classes would be a very good idea for him. He would learn how to deal with his anger in other ways rather than direct it at you. It would not only benefit him throughout his whole life, but it would allow your relationship to thrive. Maybe his doctor could refer him to someone.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, mwest +, writes (24 October 2006):
I'm actually going through the same thing with my ex, but we broke up 3 months ago now. We broke up because he's depressed and has commitment issues as well. We are still very much in love with each other and we do spend time together still but not as much as before. The only thing I can tell you is that give him the space he needs but be there for him when he needs you. Let him figure out what he wants for his life. Believe me, its hard for me to take my own advice. My ex is slowing coming around, but he still needs more time. I hope good things happen for you both and if you need anything else, get in touch with me. Take care!
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