A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My longtime boyfriend and I recently decided (mutually) on a break in our relationship because there are some issues we need to resolve as individuals first if we want things to work in the long term. We agreed that if we wanted to see other people during this time, so be it, but it isn't something either of us are actively planning on.Now I find out from him that barely a week into this break his dad is already encouraging him to date around. (He doesn't want to.) I always thought his parents and I were on good terms and was never anything but polite and respectful when we'd visit them. I'm clean-cut, educated, have a job and don't want anything from him financially. I'm not beautiful but I know I'm a catch compared to his last gf, who was suicidal, tattooed head to toe, and abused drugs. So I kinda feel like this came out of nowhere =/.I guess my question is, if we do end up back together--because honestly we probably will--how am I supposed to act around his parents now? I have no idea what his side of the story as told to them was, but evidently he must have made me out to be a crazy bitch (or at least they interpreted it that way, and he didn't correct them) if they are hoping he forgets me so quickly. They don't know I know, so I could always pretend ignorance of the whole thing, but on some level the idea of planning a future with someone whose family is so...not genuine, I guess...really bothers me. Advice on how to handle this is really appreciated.
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (27 August 2009):
 The one thing you need to understand is it really is nothing to do with you. I'm sure they were relieved their son was dating a 'nice girl'.
But lets be realistic here, their young son splits up with his girlfriend , of course they are going to encourage him to get back out there. Why? because they have been through it themselves as I have and most adults, it just doesnt work out the way you think it will. It is hard to split up from a partner and often you do saying "well we really are meant to be together, lets just sort out our lives and we will get back together". Well, maybe in the odd case this happens, but the chances of it happening are not good. Your priorites change the older you get, come 1 or 2 or 3 years in the future you will both want different things. You may very well get back together in the future, but by chance . One of you will inevitably fall in love with someone else - and that's it..end of story for your future. His parents know this , I know this , its the way it is.
Sorry to be blunt, but from their perspectives it's simple, their son has split up with girlfriend - they now encourage him to find another girl. I would in their situation and when you grow older you will realise you would as well.
I'm sure they are sad to see you out of their son's life, but he is their son and they want him to be happy with someone who wants to be with him now, not in the future.
Good luck anyway.
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