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female
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anonymous
writes: My ex and I went out with each other for six years, he was in the navy and we loved each other to bits. He got a transfer to live with me and things were great. After six months his friends suddenly started coming above me and rugby always took preference and in the end I had no choice but to end it. I was gutted. Within a couple of weeks he was sleeping with someone else and within a month he was in a serious relationship with someone 10 yrs younger than me. We continued to sleep together behind her back for about 4 months, stupid I know but I couldnt help myself and alwasy believed were meant to be. She found out about us and he has stayed with her, but now things are horrible, she has got a job in my office and is pregnant so not only do I have to see him pick her up everyday but I have to see the bump grow. She's not even a nice person, is disliked by everyone and everyone is gobsmacked he is with her. She has everything I ever wanted and I feel broken.. I'm a really popular person but feel embarrassed and hurt that he can just move on like that. He was quite selfish and immature when I was with him - what's changed? The sad thing is he told my friend he still loved me just before the pregnancy news came oti. How can I move on without leaving my job? I'm so upset and embarrassed.
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female
reader, poison_0250 +, writes (2 January 2007):
 Oh dear,i had read your situation and found out you cannot help yourself out to your tough situation...
If you would resign to the company,it means you are the loser.
You must hold on your dignity,forget the guy you love,he has commitment with another girl,don't make yourself love him again and again,he has the responsibility and soon to be a dad...
You are a loving person and you deserve someone that would be more responsible and deserves your love...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate that I'm not proud of, bumped into my ex and ending up having sex again with him on xmas eve - I feel quite ashamed of myself but cant help myself - how do I forget him and how can he do this behind his girlfriends (mum to be's back?) He initiated it and like a fool I couldnt help myself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you aninymous male reader - appreciate your reply very much. I am gonna stay at the office, I was there long before her so dont want to be pushed out. I know beaneath he is still in love with me - but now its way too late.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): I am sorry for your difficult situation. The key thing here is, now that you are no longer in a realtionship, to put yourself first and do the things which are in your best interest. First, you need to accept that you have been through a traumatic experience, and think of whatever it is you need to do to mourn and then heal yourself. You say sometimes you want to scream from the rooftops, and I think that is a great idea. Why shouldn't you?
At the same time, you need to be realistic, and decide what you want from your life, moving forward. Moving on. The one thing you say is how do you move on without leaving your job? I am not sure realistically that you can, considering that she is in the office and you see him pick her up, and that this is somewhat traumatising. I know its not what you want, but it would probably be healthy to find another job. Its not fair, but it might be the best thing for you. Don't let your pride keep you in an unhealthy situation, but if its not as bad as it sounds and you think you can deal with the work thing, then stay and good luck.
Also, you do not need to feel guilty, embarrassed, or hurt. Or jealous of the other girl having things you wanted and did not get. Your ex has probably moved on quickly so as to not deal with his own issues, and he will have to deal with them eventually. Besides, that is for him to worry about, not you. Be proud and glad that you loved him and that you gave yourself, this is commendable. Be proud and happy and confident with who you are, the fact that the relationship ended is a reflection of a failure in the relationship but not a failure in you. It is not your fault that the relationship did not last, it happens to everyone, not only in romantic relationships but in all relationships. It is natural to feel hurt, guilt, embarrassment, jealousy, etc, but once you have healed yourself, you will realise that you don't need to, and that its ok for you to be happy, and love whoever you choose to love.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (5 December 2006):
 It will pass with time, i promise. dont worry dear.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've been trying to move on and keep my dignity but really i wanna scream from the rooftops!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2006): Time and fill in the void with interests.
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (5 December 2006):
Tough situation. You have to be strong and accept it that it just wasnt meant to be. An option is to look for work else where but u mentioned u wouldnt like to do that. Guess some people might see this as a sign of defeat.
Another option will be to start dating yourself. Go out and get yourself a nice bloke. That to me might be the best option.
take care
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