A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband has been texting a woman he's become friendly with. I only found out when he accidentally didn't delete them the other day. Call it 'women's intuition' but something made me look at his phone and there they were!!He is saying they were just friends but the content of those texts say otherwise, sexy, lovey-dovey etc...He knows it's either pack it in or that's the end of us.My problem is, will/can he pack in and even if he does, is it just cos I've given him the ultimatum?Would he have carried on if I'd never discovered? I think I know the answer to that!!Should I bale out now or go along with the fact that he has promised it's all stopped and she was never any threat, just a 'game' that was never leading anywhere serious, just a distraction from the daily boredom.I don't know what to do...we sincerely love each other but I don't want to be taken for a mug.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010): ......if he sincerely loved you he wouldn't be having an affair.
My problem is, will/can he pack in and even if he does, is it just cos I've given him the ultimatum? -He will still sneak around. he will make certain that he doesn't leave the evidence around. he will ensure that his history is erased and you will be "blissfully ignorant" of his affair.
Would he have carried on if I'd never discovered? YES, he knew how easy it was to lie to you, got easier with time. and he would still continue and would cover his tracks...
Should I bale out now - be realistic. you claim to be sooooo much in love. he is NOT in love with you. he is getting touchy feely with another woman. she was slowly replacing you in his life.
".....she was never any threat," lies, lies, and more lies. this other woman was a third party in your marriage. she was slowly replacing you.
".....just a 'game' that was never leading anywhere serious,." this game was a come on for sexual transgressions. how sure are you it was mere texts/emails, no touching, kisses, fondling??
A
female
reader, Alisha27 +, writes (29 January 2010):
If you don't put your foot down THIS time, there WILL be a NEXT time. He probably wouldn't have ever stopped if he hadn't gotten caught. I'm sorry to tell you this, but a man doesn't use terms like "sexy" and "lovey-dovey" with a friend unless he is having sexual thoughts about her. Let's face it, this wasn't a game of checkers with an old buddy from high school! This was numerous texts(that YOU know of, there are probably many more) TO a woman that contain sexual content...teach him a lesson, or it will most likely happen again.
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