A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months now. In the first month and a half of our relationship things were wonderful. He wanted to see me all the time, he told me he was crazy about me, sweet talked me and showed me lots of affection. But then all of a sudden the frequent affection and sweet talk stopped. We still see eachother and talk on the phone but things changed. I have talked to him about it and he tells me that he knows things have changed but he doesn't know why. He says I'm a wonderful and sweet person and he likes to spend time with me and wants to be in a relationship but he still says he doesn't know why things have changed. He thinks its something in his subconscience. Sounds kind of strange to me. I know he is under a lot of stress with him going back to school and working too but I just don't understand why he doesn't know whats going on. Usually three months into a relationship we should still be in the honeymoon stage. I am hoping things will change and I really like this guy but I want and need more affection. I do get affection now but it is few and far between. He occassionally will speak of his last relationship which ended a year ago but I think he is still upset about it. He says that he doesn't understand how someone can put all their time and effort into a 5 year relationship and then it just be thrown away. I'm thinking he may be afraid to commit but there still may be more to it than that. Any advice on what I can do or what is going on with my boyfriend? I'm not willing to give up on him yet. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (6 September 2010):
 He is probably not a very demonstrative person. My mother and father have this problem. My mother needs lots of cuddles but my father is not cuddly at all. Luckily for their marriage he has enough other good points that my mother can overlook this fault. There is no set time for the honeymoon period some people never get out of it and for some people it hardly occurs. If this guy has enough other good points to make you love him then you will have to make peace with this. My mother makes up for it by cuddling my sister and I to death and since I take after my father it drives me nuts :-)
A
female
reader, snow lover  +, writes (6 September 2010):
I think he backed away to protect himself. He is the only one that can change this. Time might help, honestly to make a relationship work both people need to put in 110%. I've found that after one year you see the true person, after 2 years you are in a relationship and not much will change from then on.
If he's willing to go and see someone such as a counsellor that might be his best bet.
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