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writes: Well Ive been here for ages and have gotten some great advice, and now I need some more! I ended things with my long term bf in August, it was as amicable of a split as possible, and I was really and truely over him, by the time it ended. Now, I have a friend, he is a guy Ive known for the last 4 years, he lives with my best friend (who is a girl) and her fiance, we are all university students. So two nights ago, I was staying over at theirs, sleeping on the sofa because my housemates were having a fight. So the guy comes in, hes been out to dinner with people from his course, and I was on the sofa in the dark, but awake so I said hi, and he came in, we chatted for a bit, then he went and put on pjs and came back and got under my duvet and we kept chatting for like 2 hours, and got pretty cuddly. Then I said I was going to sleep, and he was like, is it ok if I crash here with you? I like him, a lot and have done for a few months, so I was like, ya sure, and we cuddled up and went to sleep (it was a fold out sofa bed!) Then in the middle of the night, he got up to pee, and when he came back, I was half awake, and he kissed me, only for a minute tho, and then we went back to sleep. He gave me a big hug and a little kiss when I was leaving in the morning for uni. but then tonight I went over to hang out with my best friend, and do work, and he was working, in his room. He came in and said hi, but nothing unusual or more than ever before... I guess what Im asking is, whats going on, and how should I play this situation? Help! Thanks in advance!
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best friend, fiance, university Reply to this Question Share |
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey! Ok, so just a quick update, hes been facebooking me a lot more recently and being a little bit flirty, and suggested that we hang out at the end of this week, when his exams are done....
And sorry i didnt answer your question janniepeg, I live in a shared house with housemates, so the people who I live with were the ones fighting (not scarily, just shouting and akward) so I stayed over at my best friends house...
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much guys! Ill keep you posted on any developments! My best friend said that he "couldnt stop smiling" the whole next day, so I guess thats a good sign! Im in no rush and would way rather take it slow and super casual because I dont want to be in any sort of serious relationship at the moment!
Ill let you know how it develops! :)
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 March 2011):
Ooh, intriguing. So you like this guy, and want to know what comes next?
He's signaled that he finds you attractive but also is keeping things quiet and not pressing forward just yet. Maybe he's concerned about the repercussions of dating you and all the associated ripples it would cause in your circle of friends. After all, you only just got out of a long-term relationship.
I'd stay bright and friendly and treat him the same as before, maybe joke with him a little about 'sleeping with him' if the opportunity arises. Keep it light and cheery and give him a chance to come to you. Let him know you think he's funny and smart and sit back and wait.
You have plenty of time to let things develop, don't rush it just yet. Good luck and keep us posted.
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female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (11 March 2011):
You mean what should you do so he would ask you out?
Wondering where you live? If housemates are fighting why don't you just go back to your own place?
He saw there was a chance to be physically close to you and he grabbed it. I think you should just pretend everything is normal, continue being cool, when you are okay with sharing a bed with him, you will also be okay having no other expectations. Remember the conversations you had with him and determine whether you like him enough to be your boyfriend, and also about the content of the chat, was it about knowing each other better, or about other people? Did he sound like he likes you?
The desire to be cuddly with the opposite sex is always there, sometimes it doesn't matter if that person would become your other half. He could be thinking about you, but it's still nothing until he asks you out on an official date. All you have to do is show him even if that wonderful night doesn't happen again, it's no big deal. Make him wonder what you are thinking.
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