A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half. He's 5 years older then me and works full time while I go to college. We used to never fight but lately it seems everyday he starts a fight with me because if I don't answer his text messages right away he gets really mad and starts a huge fight which leaves me crying everyday. It usually lasts all day and he always says he's going to leave me alone forever and pretty much breaks up with me. The weird thing is that when he gets home we both apologize and say sorry and its all forgotten about until the next day when it happens again. I love him a lot and gave up my whole life for him, I don't have any friends anymore because I only want to be with him but I dont know what to do anymore its just getting too rediculous.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 September 2010):
 You have no friends? You have a boyfriend who fights with you every day all day and you cry every day? He threatens to leave you and breaks up with you every day? Sweetheart, this is NOT a healthy situation. This is very, very bad.
Where is your family? Are you isolated from everyone you know? This is not good.
You are in an abusive relationship if this is the case. This man is emotionally manipulating you, chopping you down every single day and destroying your confidence and your strength, while isolating you from friends and family.
You may not see this now, but we can see this clearly for you: you have to get out. It IS too ridiculous. It is BEYOND ridiculous, it is dangerous and unhealthy. You MUST find the strength to free yourself from this awful situation.
My recommendation is that you seek counseling for yourself as well as with him in couples counseling. If you are at a university or college PLEASE take advantage of the mental health services and counseling they provide. It is a good place for you to start and for you to talk with someone who is objective and trained in helping people cope with big life problems.
You have a big life problem, there is no doubt. So you feel trapped and helpless and unhappy. The best way to change that feeling is to take positive action. Pull yourself together enough TODAY to make that phone call to that clinic. TODAY. Make the appointment. I don't care if your boyfriend approves or not, this is not his choice or his call, okay? This is for YOU.
Go see that therapist or counselor right away and start to look at why you've wound up in this toxic environment. Time to clear out the bad and look for ways to bring in the good. Start healing, okay?
Good luck. Keep us posted, tell us how that call goes.
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