A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have less than 16 days to do something about this relationship. Please help.I met a guy on a double date five months ago. We hit it off and we talked everyday even though he moved back to the UK the day after we met. I did caution him that he was moving too fast but he made it clear to me that he is ready for marriage why wait. He was so sweet to me. Promised to meet my parents and siblings when he visits. Also hinted a proposal but I shoved it off. But he did say by next year we will be married. (I am not desperate but I'm sure at my age any man will know this is on my mind) He knows he wants to relocate to Ontario or US and has made up his mind to move to US because of our future plans.Well fast forward, he is here in the states now with me and its been two weeks. Although I told him we will not be having sex soon, I slipped and felt pressured by him and we had sex the first night he came in town. I felt awful after the sex and he felt it. I began to question his intentions ofcourse.But days after his actions with me made me feel comfortable again. He was pressing to meet my parents and even bought me and my mom gifts. We went out on couple of dates and had sex everyday but not at my house. He stayed at his friends and we snuck two sex nights in his friends place and other nights was at hotels. Last week we traveled out of state to Ontario to visit his brother and ofcourse he introduced me as his wife. We had a ball at the Niagara falls. I thought this is truly the love of my life.I felt truly special until after the Ontario trip. It was like we both were exhausted. We barely have conversations anymore. The next day we didn't see each other but checked up over the phone and I was busy with thanksgiving preparation. On Thanksgiving he came with his friends and we laughed and called it a night. No sex. Yesterday, I went over his friend's place and it just felt like we were trying to tolerate each other by just keeping each other company. I felt like the excitement was not there. I am hearing cold feet language coming from him. He constantly is trying to check my phone. Mind you his phone is on lock and mine is not so who really is hiding something. Yesterday he told me that he knows me 70% but he needed more time to know me and this 16 days might not be enough. Alas, here is the same guy who told me he knew everything about me and I am everything he needs and wants in a woman. So even though I slept over his friends place with no sex last night, I hurried to go home at 5am. He called me at 7am and just sounded angry like "I will call you back" and hung up.Please tell me what is changing. I do not want to chase so today I have kept to myself and gone to the gym. He text me "Sweetheart" at 12:49pm and called with no message and I have just refused to respond. My emotions are all over the place because I feel stupid and could be pregnant. I really don't want to start pouring out my emotions to him about what I am feeling is transpiring.What should I do? He is here for another 3 weeks and I feel like I can't take the confusion anymore. I really thought we have taken our time to both decide we want this relationship and that he was coming here solely to engage me. Is he backing up now? Was he ever serious? How should I approach or deal with this issue?
View related questions:
be pregnant, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHow do I stop the sex when we've already hot and heavy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2014): "Men would travel and go to great lengths to get laid."
I laughed hysterically when I read this because it is so true.
Get a pregnancy test and then I would really rethink this whole thing, you really barely know this man and I see a gazillion red flags here. At worst you can write it off as a brief mistake and just move on. Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2014): sorry to say but it looks like hes used you... hes hooked up with someone while he was visiting he mate. Made all the right noises about wanting to be together, and got his end wet. Best to chuck him to the curb and move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 November 2014):
 First you have to find out if you are pregnant. If you are not then go on birth control. He has trust issues. I don't know how he came up with the figure 70% that he knows about you but I have to say you know very little about him. Don't get all carried away with a marriage proposal and the idea of soulmate. If he is not serious about it then there is nothing you can do but to accept that you got naive.
You did not pick up the phone for hours and he could use that as an excuse to pick a fight and end it with you. If he did that you can be sure he was never serious to begin with.
Men would travel and go to great lengths to get laid. The dangerous thing is that it is very easy to get sex once they talk about marriage plans. I have nothing against having sex early but be careful about your emotions especially when you have doubts and he's too good to be true.
The thing that changes everything is the pregnancy issue so get a test first.
...............................
|
