A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I met a guy and had an instant connection. He gave me his contact info, and we kept in contact for several months. We planned to meet again and had a great weekend. During the weekend, he brought up relationships several times, but not directly. Such as: when you find someone you connect with, you have to grab onto it. etc.. He is a shy guy, so I thought those things were signals. After the trip, we e-mailed a few times, but then he all of a sudden started ignoring me. I've written a couple of nice e-mails since then, but I have no idea what happened. I really feel like we had a connection. Because he's not super forward, I'm wondering if I should have been more forward when we were together. Now, everytime I e-mail, I feel like I make it worse. Help!
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (12 October 2008):
I agree with sarcy. You need to leave him be. This issue is clearly with him. Anytime someone does a 180 there is usually some event that causes it. It could be a new woman in his life or that he just isn't feeling ready for the next step in a relationship. Sometimes people end things by just walking away without saying anything and it could be this is what he's doing. But sometimes people don't respond to situations because they are confused and don't know how to respond. They wait and then it seems like they've waited too long and then it takes a lot of courage to respond. I do think you will hear from him again but I don't know how long it will take. For now, get on with your life. You know what it is like to feel a connection now so don't settle for less.
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (12 October 2008):
Sadly I don't think you are going to get instant resolution here. You have done absolutely nothing wrong. I would imagine something has happened in his life which has taken over. He may have met someone else, been in a relationship already, lost his job any number of things. This is going to be a waiting game. You have been friendly, polite and decent in your behaviour and he will have acknowledged this. I think he will contact you at some stage but in the mean time don't send him anymore e-mails or worry about you maybe have being more forceful when you saw him as this will just send your head round in circles. There is nothing you can do here. You have behaved properly and you are just going to have to wait. Start looking around for other men friends, go out a bit and just keep thoughts of him in the background for now.
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