A
female
age
36-40,
*C_2008
writes:I am really good friends with a guy I used to work with. We speak loads during the week and get along really well when we are together. Previously we have kissed and most recently we had sex! Which has been on the cards after months of flirting around the situation and scheduling conflicts. We are very open with each other and we talk about dating and relationships and stuff, and I met some of his friends. We have both confessed that we have never been in a long term relationship where we have remained faithful to that person even when we were living with them. We are both guilty of that but my problem is that I do like him. We have a really great time together, case in point he spent last Saturday night we with me in his apartment instead of going out with the boys! He texts when I'm going on dates and wishes me luck before interviews. He is the best non-boyfriend at doing boyfriend things ever!! But obviously this can never turn in to a relationship because he would cheat on me! He has said that he isn't looking for a relationship but I'm just confused because I think he's great, why can he be faithful and why is every guys excuse that he doesn't do relationships. Like seriously!!!
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female
reader, LC_2008 +, writes (15 July 2009):
LC_2008 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Firstly I never said I wanted a committed relationship but by the announcement that he has never previously been committed it sends alarm bells as what his real problem is. At some point do men in there late 20s not even want to try something that resembles a relationship.I've done the friends with benefits before and it's all a bit pointless after a while as u get what you physically want but then actually the guy can turn into an idiot! If we hook up again we do, if we don't. I'll always fondly remember amazing sex and at the end of the day he is giving me everything a bf should so I'll just not complain.I still don't get why men use the statement that they don't 'do' relationships, it's like a fatally lazy excuse not even to put effort in. It annoys me lots.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): You want a committed relationship.
He won't give you a committed relationship.
The end.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): ok i get were your coming from he sounds great but great for friends with benefits but if you were to show this guy anything real he wud run he likes you cause he thinks your like him but it seems your developing feelings here and thats a no/no this guy likes to think of himself as number 1 and i think if you let him know how your really feeling he will run amile u ask why dont they do commitment the anwser they simply dont want to and you wont make them and if you try he will resent you
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