A
female
age
51-59,
*raight2dapnt
writes:my man is military and has a busy job he allway tell me he loves and miss me he really a bachelor..but when we are together we have so much fun..but my question is by him being so busy we only see each other about 4 times a month .. does he really want to be with me and really loves me.. just wanna make sure im on the rgt track.. thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): A man seeing someone 4 times a month means he has more on his social calendar. That's reasonable if you are in the first couple of months of dating and have not slept together. A man who loves you will want to spend most of his time with you and you won't be slotted into some fixed and infrequent time schedule. He has player written all over him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): do you mean is it 'enough' to ensure he stays interested in you? or do you mean is it enough for you to feel not-lonely?I think it just depends on the individuals involved. Some people need or want a lot more space in relationships than others. Some people feel more insecure in relationships than others (and thus will feel anxious without a lot of contact). Generally if both people fit the same profile (either both are independent or both are insecure) then they can agree on how much time to spend together. but if one person has a need for space and independence and the other is insecure and needs a lot of contact then this is a recipe for disaster. I've seen marriages between people like this and it never goes well (even if the marriage stays together it's a constant battle for the rest of their lives).
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A
female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (13 September 2011):
Not really enough info given to conclude or assume much. How does he treat you when you two are together? Does he give u gifts and take you out? You didn't specify how long the two of u been seeing each other. Has it been this way since you met him (only seeing him 4xs a mo)? Does he make an effort to call each day? Does he text multiple times a day? Does he ever say he can't wait to see u again? Really....there isn't enough info to successfully theorize anything regarding if he's into u. Being that he's in the military, four times a month seeing a lover seems reasonable, but then again you didn't state if he was a local guy or if it was a long distance relationship. Hopefully you'll update your question to include more details.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): The saying goes: "A candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long". So many couples now meet and within weeks, move in together and then wonder why that "in love" feeling fades so fast... When we were dating, my husband and I used to only see each other on weekends for the first few years together due to our conflicting work schedules. We were still in our honeymoon phase two years on and all our friends who'd burned out their relationships in the first 6mths were jealous! If you trust that he's faithful and that he loves you (and it sounds like it!) then it's enough! Enjoy missing each other because that's what will give your relationship longevity... you've got your whole lives together - don't worry about quantity of time. Instead focus on the quality of the time together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): If he's still with you knowing that you can't see each other so often because he's so busy then yes he probably does want to be with you.
4 times a month isn't alot I know, but then if you care about each other to make it work then you should honestly be fine. (:
Hope everything goes well for you.
x
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