| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Well its a long story but here goes....Im 28 and have been seeing a girl 31 for about a year and half....we fell in love immediately...she wanted to marry me as i did her. We felt so strong and felt it was "just right" in every way. Then after a few months we lived together in her new home. I have a son 4 and she has a daughter of 6. So it all seemed to fit. After about 2 months of living together she started a new job....meeting new people and so on. then she became all distant and was going to work like she was attending a fashion parade....fake tan...dieting...and on top of that she became distant....as in not making time for us to go out. SO for about 2 months i became a nervous wreck and asked her over and over the signs that she may be seeing someone. On top of that I also know that she has seen others in other relationships. But I was assured that she wanted to spend her life with me. I couldn’t accept it and wasn’t strong enough to finish it. So I decided to go on a dating site…and after a week or so I went on a date. A few days later she found out and threw me out of the house….At that point I expected her to say “well I was seeing someone too” which would have confirmed my suspisions. That wasn’t the case….and so I felt I had betrayed her.So we broke up….i went to live at my own house and shortly after she decided to give me another chance. Things went up and down due to insecurities. And so about 3 months ago we said we needed to build good memories before we commit to living together again. So I took her on holiday. And indeed arguments stopped. Then a day before Halloween my ex who I have a son came round. I had had a few to drink and asked her is there anything she misses about us. Her answer was NO. I don’t know why I asked her that…cause I don’t miss her either. The next point was the most concerning….I then told my gf that my ex had asked the question of missing each other. Again I don’t know why…all I can think is that I wanted reassurance from my gf…maybe something like “Well…she cant have you…..ur mine” that wasn’t the case as she decided to phone my ex and found out the truth. This bowled her over but the next day she said she was missing me like crazy. Then to cut a long story short. I spoke to my ex again in regards to my son….and she then phoned my girlfriend saying things like i had said my gf was spiteful. So I next got a voicemail message saying it was over…and she didn’t want contact. I tried to ring her…and got nastiness back….to be honest….pure anger.Then after a few days…she rang me and asked me to fix her heating. I agreed and went down to see her. She admitted it was an excuse. We cuddled and kissed. And decided to work at it. Then on the Thurs night I was supposed to be seeing her. She didn’t answer her phone. So I called about 8 times. I eventually got through to her with the excuse that the phone was in her car. And she had gone for an Indian meal with friends. So I mentioned coming down to stay the night. She reluctantly agreed and when I got there, all I could smell was curry. Now this is were I maybe being paranoid. But her skin and hair smelt quite strong of foreign food and I cant say you get that from having a small curry at a local pub. Now before I continue….the facts are that she works in a surgery in a main hospital and is constantly asked out by surgeons…of which mostly are Indian and black. Now my thoughts are that maybe she went to a foreign guys house and he cooked her a meal. This strong smell may have been brought on from standing in a kitchen or living room whist food was being cooked. Not sure. So I then smelt her face whilst trying to cuddle her and her response was”I know what ur doing” to whichi replied “whats that”…..so she said “ur smelling me to see if ive been with a guy…which I havent” to which replied “well you haven’t answered your phone all night” So I was then told to leave. After 5 mins or so…I smoothed it over and got into bed…..she wouldn’t kiss me and barely could cuddle me…and told me that we could only be friends at the moment.And that pretty much it. I haven’t phoned her for a week …however she has tried once to ring me…which I missed….Any thoughts . Thanks
View related questions:
broke up, fell in love, moved in, my ex, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2006):
Its a bit hard to figure out the narrative.
But the fact that she called your ex would indicate that she has some interest in you.
There is *way* too much game playing going on. You guys are always tring to game each other and then guess what they are thinking. You guys need to see a mediator and work through things honestly without each side imputing motives to the other.
I really think you have lost it when you think that its more likely that she smells of curry from having sex with an Indian doctor than eating in a Indian resteraunt.
|
