A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for over 2 years now. We've been living together for a couple of months. The interesting thing is that neither one of us seemed to notice just how big of a step it was...we just fit so comfortably together. Perhaps a little too comfortably. I've been wondering recently if this is all I have to look forward to with him. We're acting like an old married couple and I'm getting restless. I've tried to bring up issues with him, and some he responded better to than others. When you get down to it, we just don't communicate very well. We try. Believe me, we try. And try and try. There are just some major gaps. Also, I often wonder if we have the same goals in life...he keeps going back and forth about kids, and I know I don't want them (teaching is the best birth control ever ^.^). He wants a big house, I want to travel. I want to experience things, he wants to have things. He's a good guy and treats me well, but the question is: is that enough to continue my relationship with him? I can't help but wonder who else is out there...
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Well said Chigirl..when he's got a year and some odd months left..take it as you're going to travel abroad. Backpack around Europe staying in hostels, see landmarks, embrace the culture, enjoy the fine cuisine. He doesn't and obviously can't come. Keep in contact, but focus on what you're doing and him on school. Then come back with a fresh mind, take a second look at your relationship. Is this who you want to grow old with, are you 100% sure you don't want children with him, where will you live, what type of house, will you both enjoy traveling? You sound like a smart woman, I believe you can figure it out.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 It seems to me you aren't happy about this relationship and are looking for problems where there are none. If you want to travel why don't you? Whats stopping you? His plans to one day in the future have a big house? Well that plan is far into the future, so why do you think about that now? In 3 years time perhaps you too want that big house. But in the meantime, why aren't you living your life the way you want to live it? What's holding you back?
If you aren't happy with not traveling: travel. See if he comes along or not. But he doesn't have to come along. You could still be in a relationship where you travel around and get to enjoy your life AND be with him. Just because he has a slightly different idea about what is fun, don't let that stop you from enjoying what you think of as fun.
A couple doesn't have to do everything together. Separate interests are good. But if you in general aren't happy in the relationship, and don't see that you wont be in the future either... then don't make up excuses. Just leave.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): I guess I should mention that I'm just about to graduate college this fall and he still has about a year and half to go. I'm about to make some major life decisions--and he meanwhile is playing video games and doing homework. Even though there is only a year difference, his maturity level seems a lot lower than mine in that there are just some things he hasn't thought about. I can't help but wonder that if just had some time to catch up to me, it might be better. But it might not be...then what? I lost possibly the best years of my life? :(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): I guess deep down, I know you're right. The thing is, he's still young (only a year younger than me, but we're in that awkward transitioning time. I'm just about to graduate college this fall and he still has a year left). There are so many things he hasn't even thought about yet while I, meanwhile, am starting to feel the need to spread my wings and see what I'm capable of doing. Perhaps I need to give the situation a little more time? Gah! But that's so hard to do when I feel like I'm only months away from making major life decisions!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 November 2010):
It seems that you want to live a little, have more excitement and adventure in your life. Your life still has more to offer, and you're just not ready to settle for the boring old married couple routine. He sounds like he's ready to settle for the big 2 story house complete with a white pickett fence, kids, and a golden retriever. I will say that you are 100% you don't want children and your partner does, that will break the relationship.
If you truly love and see yourself growing old with him, then stay in this relationship. However you both want different things out of life..I think you need to break it off and live life for awhile. Do some soul searching.
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