A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Met a guy on a dating site, went out many times and we clicked. Anyway after a few weeks we slept together and we both enjoyed ourselves. Three days later he dumped me by text....agghh! He said we weren't compatible. I texted back said I was fine with it, really I was very disappointed because I was into him in quite a big way...so I suppose I played it cool.. I started going back on the dating site as I'd received a few emails from some guys which boosted my confidence. Then I noticed that he'd been visiting my site again, it made me really angry. I talked this over with a friend who suggested I phone him and talk to him. But I've got a lot of pride and am stubborn, bearing in mind it was he who dumped me. So I texted him instead saying that he had got what he wanted from me and why was he visiting my site? I have not received a reply, which I wasn't expecting either...What on earth is this joker playing at? Does he want me or not?
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (4 July 2008):
 He enjoyed the chase, he got what he wanted, and he moved on.
He was checking out to see if there was any action on your page. Other people looking, sad messages from the heart-broken girl, or as someone suggested maybe he was showing someone the girl who he had just shagged.
He must be very good if he convinced you that you "clicked", when all the time he was just nudging you towards bed. Don't get caught by this kind of user again. They'll make you feel just like that -- used.
A
female
reader, darcym +, writes (4 July 2008):
Be very careful on these sites. Especialy if you have a partner. Its nothing but trouble and full of jokers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): Loser alert! Who cares if he wants you or not...really, think about that? The guy is a player and it's likely he has done this many more females. Ignore-ignore-ignore him. Keep that pride intact and keep using your head. The guy dumped you after getting you in the sack..so what did his actions say about his character, his respect and his caring for you? Their are men who use dating sites to troll for women, guys who date, mate and dump women. It really appears you got too emotionally attached. Listen, sex drives the heart and women, even intelligent, bright girls like yourself... fall for it, everytime. Then in which case..you are not thinking with your brain-your are thinking with your heart. You are doing good, you know he's a loser. But you need to use harsh, reality based 'discrimination' in order to evaluate and assess what type of man is good for your life and your future happiness. This guy used you for self-gratification and when you didn't fit the bill. But we know you are better than this, don't we. That you have so much to offer a great guy...just not this guy. So..ignore him-no more contact-let him view your profile all he wants. He ain't getting the free goodies off you anymore. Keep your pride intact and do not text him..ever again. If he hasn't made any more attempts to contact you back-it's likely he never will. Don't waste of your time and efforts. If you were to focus in on him-he's got to you. And while you wait , wondering, getting pissed off for him to decide if he should date you again (after he dumped you once) , you feel sad and lost. What a life to choose. I think you did care way too much. It is time for you to 'use your head, your common sense, your rationalization' and stop caring. Get started on a renewed path in life, where you can begin building yourself a new life, one with a future and with someone who can commit to YOU and puts you number one, top priority in his life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): You were doing so well so that is why I can't understand why you broke your cycle of pride and texted him??? Gosh. I mean you get dumped by a guy and you acted SOOO totally cool about it and let him go and you moved on like it was nobody's business. That is awesome and that is precisely why he was looking at your site. But just because you caught him on your dating site you text him?? I mean you were doing so good up until that point. I don't get it. Who cares if he was looking at your site?? On the contrary. You should have been extatic about it cause now he can see how desirable you are and that should give you more umph to move on even more. I mean clearly he was looking at your site because he was expecting you to act pathetic over him dumping you and instead you were so cool and acted like you couldn't care less and this made him curious about you. Maybe he was wondering if you had met someone else. In any case, (except for the text) you showed him that you are way cool and not at all needy. That's awesome. You really seem to know what you are doing so please don't take any more advice from your friend. You texting him was so pointless. I mean now he knows that you held on to his number. Just stop listening to your friend's advice and keep ignoring him as you have been doing. You are doing a fine job. Oh and no he is not trying to get back with you. And either way who cares?? After what he did who needs him anyways. But he is not trying to get back with you just so you know. He might just feel bad about what he did and he might regret it. But it is curiosity and a bit of regret and nothing more. But curiosity is good. That should do wonders for your ego. So from now on let him look all he wants. And if he ever calls to apologize just keep being cool, keep it short and keep moving on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): Sweetie, I am sorry to say, but I don't think he wants you. He is what they call a "player." Or so it sounds. If he is still visiting your site that is because he does like you and he is interested in you. He wants to know if you have any other potential dates. If he see's you're not getting on the site any more maybe that will tweak his nerves a little and make him miss you.
But regardless of that, even if he did ever want to meet up again, it would not be the way you would want it to be. He would possibly go out with you and that would satisfy his couriosity, so he probably wound never contact you again or if he did it would only be once a month or two for a bootie call. I really do think that is all he's looking for.
I am only saying that because I have had those guys ... where it becomes obvious that is the only time they call you and then you go back home. It's not worth it.
Stay on the site until you find the guy you really like and likes you in return. A friend I use to work with just got married to a man she met off of Match.com ... so, the site is not worthless, but it's also not a rescue site. Give it time, the right one will come to you when you least exspect it!
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A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 I would say he isn't into you. It could be he is just visiting your site out of curiosity or who knows maybe he was showing his friends people he dated? If I were you, I would just move on. He doesn't sound very mature anyway, ending a relationship by txt message? Focus on the future and the guys out there who will be more mature and interested in more than a sexual encounter. Good luck.
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