A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I've started to get back into the dating scene after being single nearly 2 years. My friends suggested online dating, which I don't really like the idea of, as I prefer to meet a guy naturally but Ive given it a whirl anyway. I've matched with this one guy who states he's looking for a relationship on his profile, we've spoken for 3 weeks via texting almost everyday, and have a lot in common and I do like him. But he has not asked me out on a date? I havnt hinted at him to ask me out because I know pushing/rushing a guy is a big no no, but I don't understand why he's stalling. He's even told me he's going to the cinema "on his own", to watch movies and tells me how the film was, and I'm sat there thinking "why didn't he invite me, when he knew I was free?". I don't want to be strung along, and was wondering your thoughts? Because I'm starting to think 1. He's not that into me or 2. He lied on his profile, and he's clearly not ready.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2020): Maybe you should ask him? I was talking to my now boyfriend of nearly 3 years on a dating site and I had to ask him to meet up first! What's stopping you asking? He might be shy and not confident.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2020): I am fully with Honeypie probably he is married or in a serious relationship and bored to the teeth with it. Wants out but doesn't have the courage or the choice to do it. You should ask him how about a coffee sometime if he is free. If he declines then definitly he is tied.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2020): Sometimes people online become gun-shy if they've been rejected for dates a few times. Some like having someone to chat with, but they lack confidence and fortitude; so they stick to just messaging and holding-on to whatever attention they can get.
It seems you've met a guy who might have something to hide. He may be in a relationship, and just checking-out the ladies online. There's the possibility that he's not financially-stable (or cheap); and figures if you really knew him, you'd lose interest.
I wouldn't let him cramp your style, if he won't get-off the pot.
Why specify you're looking for a relationship, when you don't have the nerve to ask for a date? People don't subscribe to a dating-site to exchange pleasantries!
Unless you've got time for a chat-buddy, maybe you should gently send him on his way. He'll save face if he's too broke to ask you out; or stringing you along, because he's already taken. If he's deciding between you and others; he's wasting your precious-time anyway.
NEXT!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 February 2020):
 I think you are correct in the two options... Either he is not THAT into you or... he isn't single or... he isn't really LOOKING to date, but to "browse" and see what's out there.
Some people talk to multiple people at the same time, even go on dates with multiple people before they "pick" one to pursue. So he could also be talking to other women and not telling you. (which I don' think he HAS to do, as you have only talked for 3 weeks, but it does seem strange to mention going to the movies alone, unless you mentioned that you had already seen the movie or you thought it is shit).
Personally? If I were you? I'd give him ONE more week and see. IF he doesn't ask you out or to meet up for coffee or whatnot, I'd see whom else is out there.
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