A
male
age
36-40,
*eece
writes:I will try to cram it all in here! so bare with me.I'm 20, gay and have had 2 serious relationships, this being my second. The first one left me pretty bruised and torn up, but I came out alive.My current (ex) B/F I have been with for 2 years, we are more than just partners though we are best friends, we have a connection where we can say or do anything with each other, he can tickle me or talk in a silly voice to me and we are really affectionate, we REALLY do enjoy each others company too.We have broken up before, trust issues and me not having a job, but we worked through them and he came back to get me. About 6 weeks ago we started having a fantasy, another guy to sleep with me, and for my b/f to watch, I was never keen on this but I wasn't against the idea. We got a dating account to look for guys that we shared. My b/f found a guy but didn't want him to be the fantasy guy, he just wanted to make friends with him. Anyway 6 weeks ago around the time we started all this he suddenly told me he didn't know how he felt about me anymore. I had major trust issues and it got him down a lot, he insisted that he and his new friends were just friends. Problems escalated and we decided to go on a break, he sent me a text saying, "A break is really what I need right now, so I can really figure out what I want and where we are going, I love you and I want to make it work if we can."Throughout the week I pestered him, only when he was with his new friend. I was so certain his thoughts would be clouded by this new guy. He sent me another text a few days later saying "If we are meant to be together why is it not working."After the break ended I came to stay at his, the Monday evening he broke it off with me, We had sex (bad I know) and I was an emotional wreck after, the next day after he got back from work, and an hour before I was about to leave we were laying on the bed. He said to me "I still love you, you're still my red hot chilli pepper, (lol at your discretion) we should meet in a few weeks to see how we feel."We walked to the train station and kissed and hugged like we used to, he said I love you, he waved goodbye and looked back several times as did I. After this we had no contact for a week, I finally contacted him and said I love you and I can't let you just walk away (crying and sobbing at the same time) he flat out told me it was over and we were not getting back together. He also told me that he isnt over me, thatI still factor into his thoughts and he still has feelings for me, and still loves me a little bit." Just yesterday he said he was thinking of going out with the friend he had been seeing, I know I know you probably think he is a jerk and never loved me.I know he loves me deep inside. I think my trust issues and constant calling got to him a lot . This new guy, well he just isn't his type, they wont be affectionate and share the bond me and my B/F had. What do I do? I just can't move on .... I cant even cry my heart out ... It's like I'm numb ... I feel rubbish inside but I can't cry.I don't want to be his friend, I cant be in his life if I'm not his boyfriend, he wants me to stay in his life, I know it would hurt him to lose me. Help :( we love each other and I feel like the world is against us ... will he miss me and come back to me in time ...?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): Well don't pester him as you tried that and it didn't work. The best bet, as hard as it is, might be to just take a step back and see what happens. All the trying in the world won't necessarily make anything happen. If you get the opportunity you can express your feelings but the rest is up to him. If he isn't interested then there isn't much you can do.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Wow...lets Take A Step Back And Take Deep Breath. You And You Ex Love Each Other But, He Said You Two Will Not Get Back Together And He Is Beginning To See A New Guy. When He Says He Lover You I Dont Believe It Is In The Way You Love Him. You Believe The Universe Is Against You Bet It Is For You. Perhaps Its Trying To Tell You Something. Everything Happens For A Reason Your Life Experiences Are To Teach You Something Benefical. That Is Something For You To Figure Out. He You Continue To Contact And Dwell Over Your Ex You Are Never Going To Think Clearheaded. He Needed A Break And So Do You. Take A Long Hiatus From Him. Have No Contact With Him. Work On Yourself. I Was In A Similiar Situation And I Took A Break And Finally Did What I Felt Was Best And Cut Him Completely Out Of My Life. It Is Hard I Know But It Will Help I Promise. Blessed Be And Good Luck.
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