A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I live with my boyfriend and we have 2 sons, but he has this friend who was his high school sweetheart, whom he texts a lot. One day I went through his texts, and I saw that he calls her all these cute names he doesn't even use for me and when I confronted him he said it was nothing. But I also saw that she gave me a nickname that wasn't nice for me and all he texted was lol...so what should I do? And this is after I confronted him about the names calling...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): Well, as a male, I have to say your "boyfriend" isn't doing right by you...in no way, no how....he's being an a--hole and you should dump him as soon as you can!
There is NO EXCUSE for his dissing you!
There is NO EXCUSE for his chatting up his friend while he's supposed to be looking out for you!
Your BF is obviously still in love with his former sweetheart...kick him to the curb!!!!
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (27 June 2010):
 This does not sound innocent or "nothing" to me. You need to put some thought to planning how to leave him if worst comes to worst.
Tell him again how hurtful you find the fact he exchanges so many texts with her, how hurtful you find his cute names for her and how much more hurtful his response to her nasty name for you.
My gut tells me he is not going to stop, you need to decide if you are willing to accept this disrespect by both of them, if you are willing to have three adults in your relationship, you, him and her, or if you are going to take control of your life.
If it doesnt stop, simply follow your plan to leave, you dont need to discuss this with him, or even threaten him with your departure, neither of those will make much difference but your simply packing up and moving on out might be the wake up call he needs ---- if he is willing to wake up that is.
Dont forget to seek legal advise when you are making your future plans.
Good luck, I wish you well
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (27 June 2010):
 He is making a fool out of you and it's definately NOT ok for him to be sweet talking an ex and sharing jokes with her about nicknames for you.
Men don't often like being told what to do. He will most likely make every excuse to be able to continue to converse with her. Even if it's only occasionally...it isn't ok.
You need to think clearly about what your going to do. Let him know how serious you are about him stopping the contact with her. Don't give ultimatums but say to him that it is hurting you and affecting how you feel about him. If he doesn't take you seriously or isnt prepared to change then perhaps it's time to call it quits.
AE x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): He is completely disrespecting you need to leave this guy a man who truly love his girl he respect her and doesn't let anyone talk about his girl you deserve better you dont need this in you life stop letting this happen
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI like some opinions about how to deal with my boyfriend and his friend. I just want to know what how I can make him understand that I am hurt and if he was in the wrong for calling her nicknames and letting her call me a bad nickname. I still love him but I don't think he understands that he is hurting my feelings. I like an opinion from another male whoever wants to express their opinions about my situation, please feel free to do so. Thank you.
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