A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well,my husband and i have been married for about 3 months...and sad to say its already having problems.i work part time, he works full time, we both clean and cook and take care of the house and stuff. im looking for a full time job but being only 18 they are semi difficult to find and he doesnt seem to care or understand that. i love and adore this man. but i sometimes wonder if its worth it. he wants to save for a new place, and if i spend ANY money (even on hygine produces i.e hair care, face wash ect.) he gets upset and says how i dont care and how he does all the work and feels like my father...mind you hes 21. we fight constantly, and when i say something he doesnt like its an instant fight.he says he wants me to try harder, and i say i want him to give me credit for the things that i do do rater than just pointing out the things i could and should do. he makes me feel worthless , like im the most annoying creature around. we see eachother 45% o the time because he is military and the days he is home he plays on the computer....some one please...this man is my everything..but i dont know how to make both of us happy
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): You should see a marriage counselor. It sounds like your husband has some control issues. You should be able to buy shampoo and be able to talk about things your husband might not like without it turning into a fight. A counselor should be able to help you and your husband learn how to communicate better. A counselor should also be able to advise you if the marriage should be dissolved. If your husband doesn't want to see a counselor then you need to ask yourself if this is the way you want to spend the rest of your life. You are so young, you deserve to be in a relationship that makes you happy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): Hey,I think you need to sit down with him and have a really good talk! You'll need to bring up exactly what you've said here because he is being out of order by not letting you buy your necessities. You have a job and you earn money, that's more than what you can say for most people! It's your money to spend on whatever you like and he should be grateful that you are putting the effort in although you only get a part time wage! A girl needs her stuff and thats that! What about when he goes and buys shaving gel etc? It's exactly the same! BUT you do need to sort this out now or otherwise it's going to be a long winded marriage for you both and that's not what marriage is about! Ok so married couples have their arguements, but that's normal, it crosses the line when he's telling what you can and can't buy! I'd understand if you were spending your whole wage put it doesn't seem like you are! Keep your chin up and you'll find a job soon, i'm 20 and i'm looking for a different full time job because mine doesn't pay enough and me and my partner both want to move but sometimes it just takes a little while to get things on track!Good luck and let me know how it goes :)xx
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