A
female
age
36-40,
*CF123
writes:My boyfriend just recently broke up with me. Is it better to not talk for a few months, until I am over him? Do feelings just disappear or if its a real connection will they still be there?Or is it better to occasionally talk so he doesn't forget about me? I would like to be with him in the future. Any ideas?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007): I think you should tell him anything that's bothering you (if you haven't) and get it out of your chest first and then you should definitely not talk to him. It Will be difficult because you'll want to go back. But if he dumped you it's better for you to walk away and move on. Who knows if he'll forget you? If he was the one who broke up with you there's a big chance he'll end up forgetting you first. But Who knows because I was the one who dumped my fiance six months ago and I am still crying for him. But I know I can't go back with him because I deserve better. We have not talked in four months and haven't seen each other in five and broke the relation in six; and still a week goes by and I'm sure I don't need him and I've forgotten him and then the next week I end up crying my heart out because I still miss him and love him. Feelings are complicated. Have I forgotten him? Obviously no. But men are different and the younger they are the easier it is for them to forget and move on.
A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (31 December 2007):
 I think it is better not to talk for a while. My experience says that when taking contact when still very sad, it usually doesn't end up very good and afterwards everything feels even worse. If it is a real connection and it is supposed to be, the feelings in him will still be there even if you don't talk to him for a while. But I know, easier said then done, I have a real hard time to follow this myself...
Best wishes, tell us how it goes!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007): I can fully understand. My husband of 4 months told me Xmas Eve that he does not love me anymore - right out of the blue - I am utterly inconsolable!Do we fight, or walk away with dignity - hard one...?
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A
female
reader, lil'shade +, writes (31 December 2007):
Girl if U don't talk to him he is going to forget about U. Yall can still be friends.
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A
female
reader, fifi the1st  +, writes (30 December 2007):
Hey i've been there and I didnt talk to my ex boyfriend for over a year after. It took that much for me to be able to talk to him without feeling angry at him for breaking up with him. If you do talk to him too soon you may end up getting angry with him which if he's broken up with you doesnt look very good. I wouldnt speak to him until you feel ready to have a normal conversation. If he says hi to you i wouldnt ignore him either just a simple hello back should work until you feel ready. Until then you should try keep busy and have fun with your friends. Hope this helps.
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