A
female
age
51-59,
*nnjan82
writes:I met a guy on the internet and we really got on well....We eventually met and the sparks were all over place....It was my first time in my life to bed someone on the first date. Never ever happened through out my life. I was in a relationship that ended in disaster after many years. In other words married before. Any way to cut the long story short at the time we were talking on the internet I asked so many times if he was dating someone and he said no. I asked him the same night we met and he said no. Any way to cut a long story short on I finally got the truth from him that he was but not happy. Blah blah blah I was mad with him!!!! And didn't he see me hit the room and screamed at him.... I was shattered to think I slept with someone who had someone. I was gutted. I decided to stay with him because I liked him and told him I will leave him soon. Please don't ask why I stayed. I'm an attractive woman and have guys whop ask me out. I wasn't bothered dating any one else or looking again...... Anyway we ended up being together for a while but I finally put my foot down and told him today I can't do it any more. I know he is going through a lot at the moment and confused about me and he does really like me. I told him we will be friends and see what fate brings to us. He said he understood. He plans for us to see each this weekend and I thought I was going to go ahead with it but it hit me like a thunderbolt and I made the decision last night after talking about tomorrow that enough is enough. So I sent him an email after we spoke knowing he will recieve it in the morning. It's strange because he text to speak about us as if he hadn't received the email and didn't reply. He then later sent another text to say he received the email. He started talking about i deserve more than him like he's done before and make me feel guilty but this time I was not going to change my decision. We spoke for awhile and I told him only friends for now and see what fate has in store for us.I know I made the right decision but I'm hurting because we bonded because of past experiences. To long to go into every body but he his a very sad person inside. I told him he needs to sort himself out like I need to as well. Why do I feel so bad. And do you think we could get together.
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female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (5 September 2009):
 You feel bad about seeing him when he was dating someone else or you feel bad about having to let go of him? I don't understand this clearly, maybe both are the case. Are you sure we can talk about a bond? It doesn't seem you have been with him for long? After a "disastruous" marriage as you put it, what I think is that you need to feel the love and warmth of a relationship but you seem willing to settle for much less in exchange for something that only resembles those. I would question your self esteem. Also, I would be more more concerned about the way you jumped in a relationship with someone you had just met. Were you on the rebound? You didn't know him well and as it later came up, he was dishonest with you. Not to mention that online dating can be quite deceiving at times.Now, if you can justify the fact that this man has lied to you and really wish to keep in touch, then at least take all your precautions next time, should your paths cross again. If you have guys in queue ahead of you, wonderful, however I suggest taking some time off the dating scene for now. Before you feel well in a relationship, think more about your life choices and set rules for yourself, to be sure what to ask from your partner and know what you will offer in return. Take all the time you need to feel happy with only yourself and to draw some useful conclusions from this recent online experience and not only.
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