A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have known this guy since highschool,28-30 years, we had a few intimate encounters back then, I have recently move back to the town where we went school, He called me a month ago to come over for a drink, and we have hooked up only on an intimate level. We are both very busy with our own lives and we both have children. I have come to have feelings for this man and cant fight the urge to phone him. He hasnt phoned me since our first encounter a month ago, cause I have always been the one to call. Should I just leave it be and wait patiently for him to call me or what.He is also a widower of just over a year. I really like him and dont want to look needy or agressive. What advice can you give me, as Valentines is just around the corner. Should I just let it pass, or give him something. I desperately need some advice, i have been seperated for 2 years and am at a loss when it comes dating as my marriage was a 22 year one Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 If you are going to hold back, you may miss the boat.I think you have to stir up things a bit and see how he responds . Whether they are positive and he enjoys them.You got to be the mover.It is easier for you to go to him than for him to come to you.You need to use your feminine wiles.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (31 January 2008):
 You have already been intimate with him in a few different decades! I would throw caution to the wind and be a friend at least, after all this time! You'll have to hold yourself back a bit and let him take the lead, but just call him and be a friend. As a widower, he needs to hear from people who know him and love him. Just don't pressure him and allow things to develop in their own good time. Suggest a few low key, low pressure outings, like lunch - badminton - bridge - anything that increases a meeting of the minds - instead of the bodies. I think, if I were in your position, I wouldn't count on gaining a lover, only a friend, and I would be thrilled if it developed into more in the future.
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